therealpm

*Peter wakes early, still bouyed up by the election results and heads downstairs for a cup of tea and a yoghurt. His phone buzzes as the kettle boils. An update from The Machine.

Sipping his tea slowly, he scrolls through the results and nearly spills it everywhere when he reaches The Machine's conclusions, which have been carefully bolded so he can't possibly miss them. A quick enquiry confirms that the results have been double, triple and quadruple checked- there is no uncertainty.

Grinning, he types out a text message.*


Text from 07### ######

John,

your presence is required. ASAP.

-Peter


*He sips his tea again, considering how to procede. A little background music wouldn't go amiss.*

...time to redecorate.

All in all an excellent and informative week with some significant labour victories and the prospect of more to come.

Progress on The Machine: sucessfully uninstalled previous system.  Considering switch to germanic rune set; elder futhark rather unwieldy.

Now where's everybody got to....?

Progress on The Machine: New OS (occult spell-set) crashed after only 6 hours. Need to reload entire rune inventory and reinstall from scratch. Crash caused minor portal open up between nether-dimensions and tea cupboard. Tea now infested with demons. All stocks undrinkable.

Coded small piece of malware in fit of pique. Victims experience all the effects of a bad case of flu, with no symptoms visible to others.

Replaced Hague's shampoo with Veet again. The Great Old Ones Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! always the best.

Previous tests have demonstrated The Machine's capabilities at increasing the intensity of a pre-existing hangover, yet so far the ability to induce a hangover in a completely teetotal subject has remained untrialled due to lack of suitable victims subjects in the westminster area.

Target acquired.