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Links to all posts in the 'Peter and the Wolf' rp-arc will be added to this post.

Posts with commenting disabled are part of the plot, but indicate private moments of which other characters are not necessarily immediately aware. Posts taking place in a specific room or at a specific time should have this noted in the title or at the head of the post. Chronology follows these stated times, not necessarily the order in which rp comments are posted.

A floor plan of Westminster Palace is available here.

Posts

Peter Mandelson: 28th August. Lab book.  A potion fails.

John Bercow: 30th August, 9:30 pm. Text to Peter.  'Are you safe?'
Paddy Ashdown: 30th August, 11:30 pm. At home. 'What's all this nonsense?'

Peter Mandelson: 31st August, 9:00 am. At home. Burglary and a spot of home redecoration.  Sudden transformation.
John Bercow: 31st August, 9:02 am. At a holiday camp.  Calling all magi.
John Bercow: 31st August, 2pm. Group text/Speaker's quarters at the HoC Repeat: calling all magi.  Hunting party.
Alastair Campbell: 31st August, 4pm. At Home.  Advice
John Bercow: Evening 31st August, Hyde Park The hunt begins
Frances D'Souza: Evening 31st August, Primrose Hill Capture and rescue

Peter Mandelson: 1st September, 7am. Parliamentary prison cell. Dazed and confused.
Alastair Campbell: September 1st, 1pm. Spare room in the Speaker's quarters. Also dazed and confused.
Dawn Primarolo: September 1st, 5pm.  Outside the parliamentary prison cell.  Irritated.
Fiona Millar: 1st September, 7pm. At home. Alastair, where the hell have you been?
Sally Bercow: 1st September, 7 pm. Speaker's House. What to do with the wolf?

Peter Mandelson: 2nd September, 7am. Prison cell. Paperwork
Fiona Millar: 2nd September, 7:45 am. At home. Operation rescue naked Peter.
George Osborne: 2nd September, 8:30 am. Constituency home. A call from Peter
John Bercow: 2nd September, 8:30 am. Speaker's House. Adoption arrangements
Sally Bercow: 2nd September, 11 am. Speaker's House. Guests arrive
John Bercow: 2nd September, Speaker's Office.  Emergency meeting.

Peter Mandelson:3rd September, 7am. Prison cell. Cabin fever.
Vince Cable: 3rd September, 7:30 am. Diary. Making arrangements.

Peter Mandelson: 4th September, 7am. Prison cell. Potion and a new portfolio.
Chris Bryant: 4th September, 1:30 pm. Stalker.
Jo Swinson: 4th September, 5:45 pm. Diary. New job.
Jeremy Brown: 4th September, 8 pm. Diary Reshuffle.

John Bercow: 5th September, 5am. Collaring and inspection.
Frances D'Souza: 5th September, 9:15 am. Voicemail.
Frances D'Souza: 5th September, 10 am. Inspection, release, recapture.

Peter Mandelson: 6th September, 6am. Prison cell. Reconciliation.

Peter Mandelson: 9th September, 8am. Prison cell. Rosy Dawn.

Dawn Primarolo: 10 September, 2:30 pm. Deputy Speakers Bitching Society. What it says on the tin.

Chris Bryant: 11 September, 5 pm. Officer's corridor. Save you from yourself.
Paddy Ashdown: 11 September, House of Lords. Return to London.
Frances D'Souza: 11 September, email. Assistance required.
Peter Mandelson: 11 September, Prison Cell. A visit from Paddy.

Peter Mandelson: 12 September, 2 pm. Prison cell. A 'friendly' visit.

Peter Mandelson: 15 September, 9:55 am. Prison cell. Cabin fever.

Sally Bercow: 16th September, 9pm. Speaker's quarters. Day of reckoning.

Peter Mandelson: 17th September, 5pm. Prison cell. Mostly harmless.

Sally Bercow: 19th September, 5:40 pm. Speaker's quarters. Trip to the petting zoo, Alastair?
Peter Mandelson: 19th September, 6pm. Prison Cell. Visitors.

Peter Mandelson: 20th September, 10 am. Prison Cell. Lord Fowler makes A Discovery.

Chris Bryant: 22nd September, 4:00 pm. Officer's Corridor. Agent Bryant, super spy.

Peter Mandelson: 23rd September, 5:30 pm. Prison cell. Peter and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Peter Mandelson: 24th September, 8:45 am. Prison cell. The Machine.

Peter Mandelson: 25th September, 9:30 am. Prison Cell. Everything hurts.
Fiona Millar: 25th September, 6:30 pm. At home. Salad and recap.

Peter Mandelson: 26th September, 9:10 am. Mandatory Excursion. Smells like Team Spirit.

Peter Mandelson: 27th September, 8 am. Prison cell. Walkies
Alastair Campbell: 27th September, 10 am. Home. Life is pain.

Sally Bercow: 28th September, Evening. Hercule Bercow.

John Bercow: 29th September, 9 am. Prison Cell/Speaker's House. Hide and Seek.

John Bercow: 30th September, 9 am. Speaker's House. A walk in the park.

John Bercow: 1st October, Speaker's House. Bedfellows

John Bercow: 4th October, lunch time. Prison cell. Prince in the tower.

Chris Bryant: 5th October, 7:30 am. At home. Hungover.
Peter Mandelson: 5th October, lunch time. Prison cell. Inspection II.
Peter Mandelson: 5th October, 10 pm. Prison cell. Unwelcome news. Unwelcome visitors.
                           ETA: link goes to flatview as too many comments to load in normal view.

Nigel Evans: October 6th , 11:00 am. Speaker's Office. Take me out tonight.
Jacob Rees-Mogg: October 6th, lunchtime. A discreet locale. Lunch

William Hague: 8th October, 8 am. Hotel. Red boxes.
Peter Mandelson: Monday 8th October, 6pm. Prison Cell  Small consolation

Peter Mandelson: 9th October, 7am. Prison Cell/Speaker's House. The aftermath.
Sally Bercow: 9th October, 2pm. Speaker's House. RIGHTEOUS ANGER
Dawn Primarolo: 9th October. Notes. Werewolf apocalypse.

Peter Mandelson: 10th October, 11am. Prison Cell. Potions Master nerd.

John Bercow: 12th October, lunchtime. Prison cell. Cross examination.
Dawn Primarolo: 12th October, 3pm. Lords Speaker's office. Reviewing the situation.

Peter Mandelson: 14th October, 9am. Prison Cell. Where there's a Will, there's a way.

Peter Mandelson: 15th October, 7:30 am. Prison Cell. Signed off.

Peter Mandelson: 17th October, 8am. Prison Cell. Silver fox wolf.

John Bercow: 18th October, 8 am. Prison cell. Medicine man.

John Bercow: 19th October, 8 am. Prison cell. Deals with the devil.

Peter Mandelson: 21st October, 9 am. Prison cell. Birthday party.

John Bercow: 22nd October, 8 am. Prison cell. DRUGS! (are a Risky business)

Peter Mandelson: 25th October, 9am. Prison cell. Complications.

Peter Mandelson: 26th October, 9am. Prison cell. The naked truth.

John Bercow: 28th October, 8am. Prison cell. Audiobooks.

John Bercow: 29th October, 8am. Prison cell. Catatonic with laughter.

*He's been semi concious for about half an hour (fucking birds and their fucking dawn chorus) by the time his alarm goes off at six. He rolls over to tap it off and nearly falls when the bed turns out to be a sofa and the bedside table turns out to not exist.

Urgh.

He rubs the sleep and remnants of last night's glamour charm off his face and goes to make two cups of tea. There's no signs of life from upstairs but perhaps that's to be expected. John's campaign thus far has reeked of indolence at every level. Peter will have to set about sorting that (and their finances) later - for now he needs to get Bercow out doorstepping.

There's a heavy copper-bottomed pan hanging from the wall. By the look of it, it's never been used for anything other than show. He grabs a ladle and gives it an experimental thwack.*

BONG

BONG

BONG

*Peter pauses, from the muffled cursing and thuds as various objects are knocked to the floor, it would appear that upstair's occupant has finally awoken.*

...BONG

Just to be clear, I have been far too busy over the past few months to have had anything to do with the recent IT problems. That said, had the proposals contained in my report been implemented in full, I am confident this situtation would not have occurred.

Edit: It seems (belated) birthday wishes are in order for Baroness D'Souza. Congratulations etc.

Edit 2: Fuck off, Kinnock Junior

I see certain recent embarrassments have spurred commentators, insightful or otherwise, to call for a slight change in either tactics or tactician.

I'm sure they'll sort themelves out.

I did hope that my comments at last week's dinner might have encouraged our frontbench to be slightly better at dissecting Osborne's populist shambles of a budget (endured in the midst of some very dubious company). It is therefore somewhat disappointing to note that the Tories were savaged more effectively by their own leadership than by ours, a situation likely to become only more frequent with Mr Miliband's lamentable departure.

*Peter dials Fiona's phone number, but just gets through to voicemail. He tries the landline, but soon hears the beep of the answerphone. Clearly she's not in. He leaves a message.*

Hi, Fiona. Alastair's a little indisposed and won't be able to come home tonight. Nothing to worry about, but he'll be staying here for a bit until he feels better. I'll send him back over tomorrow. Hope you're well- you've got my number if you need to call.

Lots of love,
Peter

*Peter skims through Hansard. He's been far too busy plotting revenge attending to House of Lords business to watch the debates today, but with the statement on the equal marriage consultation and Treasury questions, it seems reasonable to invest a little time digging out the choicer quotes. Especially if he's expected to turn up to the Lords for those sort of things.

Most of the debate is pretty predictable, but towards the end Bercow takes a point of order. Most odd; there's still a statement to go.

As he reads through the exchange, the corners of his mouth begin to turn up, until by the end he's sporting a full blown smirk. It's not just that Osborne was made to sit there and be reprimanded for his disregard of parliamentary procedure, but that it's done in such a way as to make Bercow's dislike for the man painfully obvious. Peter is reminded of nothing so much as Jack's tendency to growl, and even nip, when he spots a long-lens camera. A sort of dogged, over-protective loyalty that's as endearing as it is amusing (he buries the pang of resentment he still feels every time he sees someone mocking his George. It's a tenacious habit but one he is determined to break). He gets out his phone.


Text from 07### ######

John,

interesting performance with Osborne yesterday. I'm touched.

-Peter

Not a bad month.

Now if only D'Souza would stop nagging me to turn up, everything would be perfect.

*It has taken several days for Peter to finish cleaning up- both after the werewolf and John's children, but at last all of the above ground rooms are clean and tidy.  The bedlinen, musty after two months in a closet, has all been washed and dried.  Suits have been aired and mothballs replaced.  The windows have been wiped down- were it summer they would sparkle but today has been unrelentingly grey.

Peter settles into the sofa, cup of tea in hand and appreciates the view.  The house still feels empty, but not quite so desolate.  He sips th steaming brew and ponders the last of today' chores: the cellar.  He has a vague memory of some potion or other going awry before he left and doubts the mess has been improved by two months' absence.  Still.  It needs to be done.

He finishes his tea, squares his shoulders and picks up the bucket of industrial-strength cleaning products.*

Once more into the breach.

*Peter wakes up slowly, and once again, dresses cautiously. The wards show some magical activity occurred late last night, and although the spell seems not to have targeted this room, it is always better to be careful- his new wards are not perfect, after all.

The location of the spell becomes obvious as soon as he opens his bedroom door. Plastic cups full of water stretch the breadth of the corridor and several feet either side of Peter's door- far too far for him to merely step over. A sharply curtailed attempt to move a few reveals that the cups are stapled together, and cannot be shifted without spilling a considerable amount of water.

Attempts to levitate the array or freeze the water meet with little success- Peter's magic is still far too weak for brute force to work, and persuading the entire thing to either move or freeze as one is an almost impossible task- like trying to direct every individual bee in a swarm.

He rocks back on his heels, chewing his lower lip, unwilling to admit defeat.*

...Miles?