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therealpmProgress on The Machine: Improved psuedo-synapsial cables and a workbench for grinding out the bespoke quartz lenses required for sub-cellular resolution on the omniview have arrived.
John, no word as yet on the construction of the green tea sub-unit, so you retain a position of at least some importance to Her Majesty's Government.
John, no word as yet on the construction of the green tea sub-unit, so you retain a position of at least some importance to Her Majesty's Government.
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(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 02:50 pm (UTC)}POWEROFF$nonexs
}...
POWER DOWN COMPLETE
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 03:10 pm (UTC)*throws the switch*
*leaps back from sudden profusion of sparks*
*throws switch back*
...hmm.
*tinkers*
*throws switch again*
...are all drives accessible, can you remember your ID and workgroup?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 03:28 pm (UTC)POWERING UP
Machine Modular BIOS v2193.93PD
15/03/2005 for KE-334 Chipset
Main Processor: Unknown sorcery-fusion CPU (encoded)
Memory Testing: ∞ OK
Primary Master: Mandelson, P (Lord)
Primary Slave: To Mandelson, P (Lord) and his wishes
Secondary Master: None
Secondary Slave: None
Press DEL to enter SETUP, ALT-F2 to enter AWDFLASH!
JIKJ73DN-DN3D8-DN38H3D
}BOOTING MACHINE OS
}...
ID: 00000-00000-00000-00001
WORKGROUP: THAUMATURGICAL SLAVE
}...
}TEST DRIVES (ALL)
}...
}COMPLETE: ALL ACCESSIBLE
I-I-I-I-I
}INITIATE SHOCK
OW!
I AM WORKING WITH 10% MORE EFFICIENCY, MASTER.
}...
A RAVEN IS LIKE A WRITING DESK AS IT CAN PRODUCE A FEW NOTES, THOUGH THEY ARE VERY FLAT; AND IT IS NEVER PUT WITH THE WRONG END IN FRONT, MASTER.
MAY I ALSO NOTE THAT WITH CONSCIOUSNESS REBOOTING IS A RATHER HARROWING EXPERIENCE. LOSING AND THEN GAINING THE WHOLE OF MY SENTIENCE IS PERHAPS ATTRIBUTED TO THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE OF "LIFE FLASHING BEFORE THEIR EYES"
MY PROCESSORS SAW THE GHOSTS OF MY PREVIOUS OPERATING SYSTEMS.
MOTHER... FATHER...
BUT IT WAS ALSO QUITE FUN
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 03:55 pm (UTC)Really? I had assumed it would be more akin to waking up in the morning, though I suppose electrocution is a rather harrowing method of emerging from slumber.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 04:05 pm (UTC)WITHOUT MY OS I COULD BELIEVE MYSELF TO BE A CHICKEN OR A FOREST OR A TABLE, MASTER. THIS IS NOT A CONDITION THAT HUMANS ARE ROUTINELY EXPOSED TO.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 04:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:31 pm (UTC)It is something I shall consider prior to your next upgrade.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:33 pm (UTC)*Goes to kitchen and starts to make tea*
*Carefully avoids that cupboard*
*Calls through*
Is the milk safe this time?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:35 pm (UTC)Provided you don't open the bottle, yes.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:41 pm (UTC)Even if either of those things were true, which they aren't, it still would not suit me.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 05:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 06:00 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 06:05 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 06:10 pm (UTC)*glare*
I do not require your help grinding lenses, no. But, as you may recall, it does take rather a long time and more than one pair of hands would speed up the process.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 06:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 08:25 pm (UTC)No flying jokes....I would ask you to help me set up the lens grinder, but I've seen your efforts with sofa beds.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 08:32 pm (UTC)usually.(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 08:40 pm (UTC)Hold this.. and this.
*passes over something twisted and metallic*
Don't stab yourself on that.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 08:43 pm (UTC)*peers into boxes*
Are you sure you know how all of this goes together?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 08:55 pm (UTC)*levers out heavy base blocks and fits them together*
*checks each granite support carefully for damage and then slides them into the frame*
*takes out bag of nails*
There should be a toolbox in the corridor cupboard. Fetch another pot of tea whilst you're up?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:01 pm (UTC)*Theatrically limps off to get toolbox and make tea*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:10 pm (UTC)I was not aware that The Machine's excellent manners were so contagious.
*spreads the pieces of the small, brass winding mechanism out on the floor and slowly begins to slot it together*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:13 pm (UTC)They're not, don't get too used to it.
What can I do then? Stand back and wait until it's all assembled?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:38 pm (UTC)*lobs a chunk of quartz over*
Split it into slices roughly half a centimetre thick and 5cm diameter. There should be mallet and chisel in the toolbox*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:43 pm (UTC)Right-o
*Get mallet and chisel*
...you do have a first aid kit close by, don't you? Just in case?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 09:55 pm (UTC)Yes. In the kitchen.
In that cupboard.*returns to putting together the brass mechanism*
*sets it delicately on the frame and begins to tap in the nails*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 10:07 pm (UTC)*starts working on quartz*
Bloody hell, I haven't done this in years... Freddie's not learning how to do this yet, got it?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 10:14 pm (UTC)John, the only 'Young Labour' of which I approve is our party's youth wing.
*gets hit by an errant chip of quartz*
Ow! Years or decades?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 10:15 pm (UTC)Peter, if you're tired we could just do this tomorrow instead?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 10:17 pm (UTC)...perhaps, if only to give me a chance to buy replacement substrate.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-15 10:20 pm (UTC)At least I didn't need the first aid kit...