#8

[therealpm]

Progress on The Machine: Lattice tower now installed and fully rigged, with only minor injuries to engineering crew. This should enable 'remote access' over much larger distances. Unfortunately, haven't found a way around the Heisenberg uncertainty principle yet; the clarity of the message conveyed is inversely proportional to the distance from the tower.

Preliminary tests expected this afternoon.


The tower (left) and control rigging (right).  Once connected to the Omni-view it will allow direct insertion of information into the subject's thought-stream.  May not work on BNP and UKIP supporters, for obvious reasons.

Update: Success!  Time for a nap, I think.

Comments

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Poisoning and gratuitous use of The Machine seem to be more your type these days.

Order something? From where? I don't know take-away numbers off by heart; do you happen to have any menus anywhere or have you burnt them all?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

It's hardly gratuitous, each experiment is carefuly planned and executed.

I find it hard to believe that you have raised three children, and don't have the numbers of several take-aways memorised, but check behind the tube map on the noticeboard.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

It doesn't always seem that way, I assure you.

I don't know them off by heart, but I could probably drive to most McDonald's blindfolded.

Hmm... do you fancy anything in particular or should I just throw these menus up in the air and order from the first one I catch?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Nothing from anywhere selling pizza, burgers, chips or kebabs. I dislike greasy food.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, very well.

*takes relevant menus out of the pile. Throws the remaining menus in the air. Catches one*

Curry it is!

...I'll just, um, tidy these up.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

If this is how you make most of your decisions, Sally is a very patient woman.

The phone's on the side table, next to the fireplace.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Not most, just take-away based ones.

Thank you.

*Orders*

It'll be here in half an hour.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

How was the first week back? I notice both Cameron and Boy George aren't any better at actually answering questions.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I couldn't possibly comment on the individual performances of Honourable or Right Honourable Members.

It was a jolly good first week back though, I must say. A bit slow at... certain points, and specific events could have been more interesting, but certainly not the dullest or indeed worst week in the House. I'm sure you must have kept up to date on all the vital goings on, as you usually do.

How's life treating you?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Well if you will insist of stamping all the liveliness of the debate under the pretext of 'maintaining order', then you must expect life to be a little less interesting.

Oh, perfectly well now that I am no longer limited to the first three feet above ground level, but I am sure you share such frustrations and do not wish to dwell on them.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I am not restricting debate, I am simply... um... doing something else that results in my not being able to give an answer with which you could possibly dis/agree. Honest.

I think you'll find that without aid I am limited to the first five and a half feet above ground level. I'll thank you not to exaggerate on that point too much.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

You really are most talkative this evening, I must say.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I simply lack your propensity gift for excessive verbiage of Jack Straw-ian proportions conversational small talk.

I do find it astonishing though, that your mood is so affected by the existence of positively or negatively worded T-shirts.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

It wasn't just the t-shirts, I feel I must point out, although they did help.

He can read your mind so whatever you do, don't even think about the stupid argument with Sally. It was nothing and you'll be fine again once she's finished ripping the town to pieces with her friends. Honest. Quick, you've been thinking too long; ask him something!

So, other than a Saturday night in with the annoying twerp that invaded your bedroom earlier, any plans for the weekend, or will you just be working on The Machine?

*Hears doorbell go*

Food's here!

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I... well...

Go and get it, I'll find something to drink.

*rummages around in cupboard under stairs masquerading as a wine cellar*.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a plan to me!

*Gets takeaway*

Flipping heck, next time I'm checking the prices before I throw those things up in the air. Trust you to have the most expensive places possible as your stock of delivery services!

Where do you keep the plates and cutlery?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

No, that's just the area. Regent's Park isn't exactly Peckham.

I suppose they're in the kitchen somewhere. Do you want Ro Rée or Dolcetto d’Alba Bricco?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Probably behind a tower of tea knowing you...

Oh, I'll drink whatever; either is really suited to a great deal other than takeaway curry but I suppose we'll make do.

*rummages in cupboards*

Really, how many possible blends of tea do you own?!

A-ha! I do believe I've found them...

*serves up*

Anything even remotely interesting on television, or will jilted conversation be the agenda of the evening?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Stilted, John, stilted. 'Jilted' would imply the conversation had been left at the alter for another interlocutation.

There's a lecture paying tribute to Lloyd George, followed by the briefings of Mr E. Miliband and Mr Johnson on the 10th January. I refuse to watch the snooker.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Oh you knew what I meant! Damnit, John, focus!

Spoil sport.

I have to say, even with the ridiculous price tag this is a mighty fine curry indeed. I may have to jot down the number for later use.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I've had several years to grow accustomed to your garbled dialect. It would be a lot less stilted if John'd either let on or let go of whatever's bothering him. I've seen the Milibands look more natural.

The Dolcetto then, I've never liked the aftertase, but I suppose they won't mind after eating this... what is it? Thai red curry? Oh very droll, John. Prhaps you could give Opik some tips?

*Pours*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

It's not that difficult; even the new intake are beginning to realise what I'm talking about. Eight months isn't too bad, surely?

Oh come now, it wasn't that bad of a joke. Besides, you did allow me to order whatever I wanted for you; it is, in the grand scheme of things, your own fault.

Ah, thank you. Just what I needed.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

It's the impenetrable Essex twang, combined with random substitution of unrelated words, which makes it so a difficult.

I decline to accept responsibility for your awful sense of humour. There are some atrocities of which even I am not capable.

Hmm, Lundie is asking if this is a date. Do you think the response, 'No, John merely randomly appeared in my bedroom, then bought me dinner', might give the wrong impression?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

My accent is not that pronounced!

There are those that would venomously disagree with you.

*Cough, splutter, choke*

Of course that would give the wrong impression! Think of another way to explain it!