#8

[therealpm]

Progress on The Machine: Lattice tower now installed and fully rigged, with only minor injuries to engineering crew. This should enable 'remote access' over much larger distances. Unfortunately, haven't found a way around the Heisenberg uncertainty principle yet; the clarity of the message conveyed is inversely proportional to the distance from the tower.

Preliminary tests expected this afternoon.


The tower (left) and control rigging (right).  Once connected to the Omni-view it will allow direct insertion of information into the subject's thought-stream.  May not work on BNP and UKIP supporters, for obvious reasons.

Update: Success!  Time for a nap, I think.

Comments

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

It's the impenetrable Essex twang, combined with random substitution of unrelated words, which makes it so a difficult.

I decline to accept responsibility for your awful sense of humour. There are some atrocities of which even I am not capable.

Hmm, Lundie is asking if this is a date. Do you think the response, 'No, John merely randomly appeared in my bedroom, then bought me dinner', might give the wrong impression?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

My accent is not that pronounced!

There are those that would venomously disagree with you.

*Cough, splutter, choke*

Of course that would give the wrong impression! Think of another way to explain it!

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I think you'll find it is. I expect you to turn up in parliament wearing a shell suit and a large gold chain any day now.

They tend to. One learns to ignore it after a while, else one ends up writing miserable little posts online with links to various disreputable news sources.

I don't see how, as a statement it is entirely truthful.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I'm going to ignore your first point.

...and your second.

You were a spin doctor for years! You must be able to think of a different way of presenting the facts; that's all that spin is!Of all the people you could have gone to, you end up here. Well done, John, you absolute idiot! At least arguing is stopping you from thinking about... no! Argue! Don't think! Imagine you're back on the Tory benches, if you have to! Or so I read in your esteemed colleagues published diaries.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I would prefer the term 'Labout Party Official' or 'Press Officer'. My.... esteeemed colleagues were not always intimately aware of what my role as press officer involved, they were far further towards the policy side of things.

Another drink? You're looking a little peaky.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Certainly, 'Press Officer' Mandelson.

Another drink is nearly always a good idea! Thank you.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

If we're going to engage in facetious formality, then I would respectfully ask the Speaker of the House of Commons if he will list his engagements for the morrow.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Most likely battle my way through a terrible hangover made all the worse by your meddling with The Machine.

Formalities would be far too taxing this evening, I feel, however.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

So cynical John, what happened to your usual cheery optimism?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I'm not being cynical, I'm simply wary given how you've treated my previous hangovers.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Were you that worried about it, you wouldn't be drinking in the first place. What's bothering you?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Nothing's bothering me, Peter.

I'm having another drink.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

No? You're just bothering yourself with something then.

By all means. *pours*

Good to see that Laws and Lundie are sufficiently reunited to start bickering again, isn't it?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I am not bothering myself with anything either, thank you.

Thank you *drinks*

Yes... yes it is. They really are... yes. It's good to see them happy together. *drinks*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

I always think that relationships are strongest when both parties are able to argue with each other, don't you? Shows a certain confidence that argument isn't going to break anything.

Mmph- the News is on.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Yes, yes, arguing is an important part of any relationship, so on and so forth. When a couple does argue, don't you agree, it is sometimes advisable for both parties to go out and diffuse the anger separately so that they can then have a reasoned discussion after about the real reasons for the disagreement without overemotional complications?

Yes. The News. Very imprtant.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Oh absolutely. If only Tony and Gordon had done that, we might have won a fourth term. So, do you want the sofa bed tonight or will you be taking a taxi back at some point? Teleporting after most of a bottle is perhaps less than advisable.

Indeed, those riots in Tunisia, simply awful.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Given the feeling my wife is currently broadcasting to the world, I'll take the sofa bed, if you would be so kind.

Yes, horrific, even. Utterly terrible.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

In that case, I have no compunction against opening another bottle.

*pours*

There has to be something on which isn't thoroughly depressing or sports-related.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Peter. I hope you realise, should such an occasion ever arise, that I would do the same for you.

Hopefully, although I still don't fully understand your prejudice against sport.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

John, you've been remarkably generous with regard to opening bottles of late. Think nothing of it.

Compared to politics sport, or at least watching sport, simply seems pointless. In what way does winning or losing a game change the world? Whom does televised sport benefit, except the vastly overpaid knuckle-draggers on the screen? Why should anyone care about the outcome of any particular match?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Yes, well, it's always good manners to make sure.

That's the point Peter; it's escapism. These people are hardly, if at all, affected by what we as politicians do; you don't look at them and think "Oh, well, I've accidentally ended up stealing money from them, even if I didn't mean to, and even if I did reform tax credits, knowing how the world works it would take too long for them to actually get them and for it to make any damn difference anyway". In sport you can just get lost in the pointlessness of it all.

I'm going to need another drink soon, just to warn you.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Life is too short to be pointless. I wouldn't say that people were unaffected by our government's policies. We introduced the minimum wage, for a start.

You are looking rather low, in more senses than one.

*Tops up glass*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I wasn't referring to your government's policies in particular; sport has been going on far longer than New Labour, as I'm sure you're aware (and sport stars are obviously direct beneficiaries of the minimum wage...).

I'm not low, simply... pensive. And short, of course.

Thank you all the same, though.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

There was a time before New Labour? Heaven forfend, that people should have lived in such dark days!

If you're that short, I may forgo the effort of pulling out the sofabed and simply push two armchairs together.