The breakfast table, 18th Nov.

[therealpm]

*Peter wakes early, still bouyed up by the election results and heads downstairs for a cup of tea and a yoghurt. His phone buzzes as the kettle boils. An update from The Machine.

Sipping his tea slowly, he scrolls through the results and nearly spills it everywhere when he reaches The Machine's conclusions, which have been carefully bolded so he can't possibly miss them. A quick enquiry confirms that the results have been double, triple and quadruple checked- there is no uncertainty.

Grinning, he types out a text message.*


Text from 07### ######

John,

your presence is required. ASAP.

-Peter


*He sips his tea again, considering how to procede. A little background music wouldn't go amiss.*

Comments

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter folds his arms.*

Manners. I am not yours to be ordered hither and thither.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you would do well to remember manners when thinking of altering the structure of a house in a grade one listed building in the center of the largest city in Europe.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter inspects his fingernails.*

A harmless prank, nohing more. Certainly not something that justifies breaking into a man's house and assaulting his person.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Very well, Peter. Would you please go and fix the very illegal thing you did to my house?

Better?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Of course- once you've fixed the multiple illegal things you've done to mine.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John narrows his eyes, but says nothing. Instead, he waves his hand and things are put to right - the hot water is restored and the bed remade (though quite how messing up someone's bed is suddenly illegal, John doesn't bother asking).*

There.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Excellent! Shall we be off?

*He doesn't wait for John's reply, instead stepping through the fireplace and calling out a greeting to the children.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John follows Peter through the fireplace.*

Yes, yes, I'm sure Uncle Peter would love to spend time with you once he's fixed the door.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Yes Freddie, I do have to change it back. Your father was very insistant on that point.

I know, I rather like it when it's this shape too. Looks much more welcoming than a boring oblong door, doesn't it?

Oh really? I didn't think to paint it, Freddie, but it would look very good in red, you're right.

...hello Sally.

Right.

Yes.

...one moment.

There.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John tries (and fails) to not be incredibly smug as Sally takes his side for once.*

I don't know, Freddie, why don't you ask Uncle Peter if he would like to stay?

You could show him your new hat.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I'm afraid I have other matters requiring my attention.

...

...what a lovely hat Freddie. No, I'd rather not wear it, if it's all the same to you.

Because it's your hat.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Freddie, Uncle Peter is a very busy man. You have to let him go if that is what he wants.

...No, Freddie, I haven't done anything to make Uncle Peter hate me again, thank you for reminding me of that.

Yes, I am sure.

Yes, Freddie, I-

*It is at that moment that Jemima decides that the argument has gone on long enough. To bring the confrontation to an end, she helpfully reminds her father (in front of Peter) that he promised they'd read through some of that potions book Grandma gave her.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Sally looks interested at Freddie's remark. Peter makes a mental note to possibly exploit that later, should she enquire why he'd decided to alter their front door.*

...which book is it?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John tries to recall the author and title.*

Errrm... I think- I think it's by...

*Jemima just rolls her eyes and fetches the book, which she takes to show Peter.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter and Jemima curl up on the sofa, flicking through the stained pages whilst Oliver and Freddie sit on the back and armrest respectively, listening attentively.

Peter can distantly hear Sally taking John aside to ask about Freddie's comment, but his main focus is explaining why it's important to chop the salsify root into exact cudes, rather than merely into tiny pieces.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*Freddie, quickly bored by the conversation, climbs down and puts his wolf hat back on, then goes to pretend to stalk some prey. Oliver, on the other hand, keeps interrupting to ask more about the potions and the roots of the terms. Why is it called that, not this? Who thought that bit up? Why are those more important than this?*

*Annoyed, Jemima tries to direct the conversation back to actual potion making and the right way to do it. Should it always be clockwise turns, or would anti-clockwise work too?*

*John, too busy trying to explain the mage war and its outcomes to Sally, does not notice any of this.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter quietly but firmly directs Oliver to read 'A History of Potion Making', telling him that if his dad doesn't have it, Peter will lend Oliver his own copy.*

Jemima, potions are very complex creatures. Changing the direction for one might have no effect, but for another it may create something with entirely different effects. Given the potent nature of most brews, one must ALWAYS follow the instructions to the letter, at least until one has built up sufficient intuition as to be able to tell whether a particular step must be followed exactly or whether it may be modified, or even discarded. This is not something that can be learnt from a book- it must be built up by repeated brewings of a variety of potions and some small attempts at carefully documented experimentation.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John and Sally's discussion (John refuses to think of it as an argument) is interrupted by Oliver.*

Do I have what, Oliver?

Who's it by?

I- I may do.

*John glances at Sally.*

Well, I think your mother and I have finished talking for now, so why don't we go and have a look together, hmm?

*John and Oliver head to one of the larger cupboards where John keeps his old school books to try and find the right one. Just as John opens the door, Freddie jumps out at them and knocks John over.*

Ow-

Freddie?

No, Freddie, I am not "dead", I am your father.

No, I am not "a werewolf too" either, thank you.

Freddie- Freddie, do you mind? Your brother and I are looking for a book.

*Eventually Freddie relents and goes to find something else to torment (Order, more than likely) while Oliver and John search through his old stuff.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter and Jemima finish deconstructing the first potion (a simple antiseptic potion that nevertheless requires care to avoid causing chemical burns) and head off to John's 'secret' store of ingredients. They gather everything they need, Jemima solemnly checking each one off the list before they head back downstairs to the kitchen.

Sally looks worried, but doesn't step in when Peter hands Jemima a small knife and shows her how to peel and slice the roots as directed in the instructions.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*Meanwhile, Oliver and John are going through John's old school things. A stack of books (mostly non-magical) sits next to them, untouched, as Oliver has found something far more interesting; his father's old school reports.*

Those in this pile are from secondary school during the day and these ones are the extra classes I attended.

You see, I wasn't allowed to try out for the magical school, Oliver, because the head teacher gave the place to someone else. As such, I attended magical after school classes.

Yes, yes, that was very mean of the teacher, Oliver, but I'm over it now.

*John and Oliver begin to flick through the first one. John's grades are rather unremarkable for the most part, but some of the comments are priceless.*

"Would do better to focus on textbook rather than tennis boots" - Ah yes, Mr Johnson. He used to dislike me because I beat him in the school charity tennis tournament the year I went up. I never did let him forget that...

Oh no, Oliver, there's no need to read the magical ones.

*Too late. Oliver has already picked up the top report and is looking through it.*

Oh, now, really, that's a most unkind comment... I only set fire to the lab twice that year. That hardly classifies as a "trend", does it?

...No, Oliver, Mummy doesn't need to see that.

Oliver! Oliver come back here at once!

*Too late. Oliver has already run off down the corridor yelling "Mummy! Mummy! Look what I found!" by the time John has got up off his knees.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Jemima scowls and tells Oliver to 'Go away! We are busy!' when the latter bursts into the kitchen, waving the report high above his head. Peter plucks it out of Oliver's grasp and flicks through it, smirking.*

....yes. I really think you ought to read this, Sally, if you haven't already.

*He slides the book across to her, then refocuses Jemima's attention back on gutting the mice properly.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John stumbles into the kitchen just as Sally picks up the report.*

Really, there's nothing of any great importance in there-

*While John tries to justify some of the remarks made by his teachers, Oliver slips off back to the cupboard to retrieve a the rest of his father's school reports. Oliver places them in the middle of the table, picks one at random and then starts to look through it. When either of them find something particularly funny, they read it aloud to each other.*

*John, determined not to be in the same room as everyone else, returns to trying to find the book Oliver asked for. On the way he bumps into Freddie.*

Oh hello there, Freddie. How did telling Order who's boss turn out?

*Freddie tells his father that he's letting Order think she's in charge for now, but that really Freddie is the boss. John nods along.*

Of course, Freddie. Very wise of you to do so.

I'm trying to find a book for your brother. Would you care to help or are you busy at the moment?

*Freddie thinks about it for a moment, then tells John that he can rearrange his busy schedule to hang out for a while.*

Thank you, Freddie. The books are this way...

*The two go off to search for the book Oliver requested.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*The potion is almost brewed by the time John and Freddie return, triumphantly bearing a dog eared copy of 'The History of Potions'. Oliver lets out a shriek of joy and hugs John tightly, however by this time, Jemima and Peter have long discarded the report cards in favour of discussing the important question of how to bottle the brew (different techniques and flasks will affect how the mixture matures and stores) and merely look up with irritation as John enters the room.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

That's quite alright, Oliver. You're very welcome.

In fact, I think we need to change this here a little bit...

*John opens the book to the first page where the words "Property of John Bercow" are written. John summons a pen, crosses out his name and hands the ball point to Oliver.*

I think you need to write your name in there, don't you?

*Oliver almost squeaks in delight, then very carefully writes out his name underneath John's. Once done, he hugs his father, then runs off to the living room to settle down and read.*

Now, once you two have finished with whatever it is you're brewing and Peter has gone home, I think dinner is in order. Who wants a take away?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter's rather gratified that this time it's John on the receiving end of Jemima's glare. He quietly finishes bottling the brew as she tells John in no uncertain terms that uncle Peter needs to stay.*