therealpm

*Looks around*

...you never really did do understatement, did you, Peter?

So, which book did he use, then? Did you leave one out by any chance?

From:

It is an entirely practical work space.

*checks phone*

Hmm, he claims not to. Could be Lucas I suppose, though I don't see why...

From:

Please allow me to summarise the situation we find ourselves in at present:

The leader of Her Majesty's Opposition has been transformed into a pony by his brother on his stag night. We think we know that the cause of this sudden change is due to the use of a potion slipped into one of his many cocktails, but we've no idea what the potion was, who made it in the first place and for what reason. Is that a vaguely correct assessment of our current predicament?

From:

That is an entirely superfluous description of the situaion, yes. Would you also care to elucidate who we are for the benefit of any passing voyeaurs who might not be quite up to speed?

From:

Oh no, no, I was simply trying to get to grips with the situation.

Unless we figure out what potion was used, we can't make up the antidote. And we have to have that done by midday on Wednesday.

...I wonder if the potion will wear off, given enough time.

From:

We could always try the generic transfiguration antidote, but they may well have thought of that; if they've used one from the stochastic school of brewing then he'll just hop randomly from form to form. Amusing to watch no doubt, but still...

*wrinkles nose*

There's always the more forensic approach.

From:

*Starts to pace around the room*

Couldn't we just give him a potion to transform him into something else and then give him that antidote? See if whatever he's been given is easy enough to overpower? If not, the worst that could happen is he turns back into a pony. I may have some of that potion and antidote you and Freddie made left still...

Unless of course it mixes with something in whatever he's been given, which we don't know it will but then we don't know it won't... Hmmm... Probably best to stick on the safe side if we don't know what we're dealing with...

Perhaps a systematic approach? Spells, incantations, casts, potions - a list of all of them and see which would be more likely? No, that would take far to long and there's no guarantee our list would cover all the possibilities anyway...

Oh, what about The Machine? See if it could work out what he's been given and then we'd know what to do to reverse it. I mean, obviously he'd then have seen The Machine but if him knowing about it is an issue then I suppose a simple memory charm would be understandable in the circumstances. What do you think Peter?

...Peter?

*turns to face Peter. Sees Peter fast asleep in a leather chair by the wall of books*

*Sigh* Oh really, Peter, I'm nowhere near that boring...

*Conjures up a blanket and covers Peter*

I'll let myself out.

*Leaves*

From:

*Appears, holding a rather disgruntled grey cat*

You can thank me for saving your tail from the loving attention of your children later.

From:

From:

Quite.

There is a chair...

*points*

...over there. I suggest you make yourself comfortable whilst I am away. Touch anything else in this room and I'll transport you back to Jemima.

*stuffs a small alarm clock into pocket and checks watch*

I'll be back in 15 minutes. Behave.

From:

From:

*appears*

*replaces clock on work surface and hangs jacket carefully over the back of a chair.*

*shuffles papers on desk until finds the script of the spell used earlier*

*reads through it carefully, occasionally scrawling small annotations in the margin.*

No...

no...

...oh The Machine is clever.

...that would have been quite the nasty pitfall if I'd tried rune based transmogrification...

...interesting little automated subroutine there... I do hope Art took my warning to heart and didn't attempt any further alterations...

From:

From:

*looks vaguely ill*

Oh stop it.

*mutters*

Honestly, less than an hour on four legs and you've already shed the minimal dignity afforded even the most mangy of felines.

*continues to scribble*

From:

From:

*taps on the nose with a pen*

This is a research lab, not a gurning contest. Go catch a mouse or something useful.

From:

From:

...close enough.

*hears scratching at the door*

Hmph, that'll be Jack.

*gets up and opens the door*

Come on boy, let's get you some dinner.

From:

From:

*bats paw away*

I'm finding you a cure, not cooking you dinner.

From:

From:

...well you're welcome to have a second tin of Jack's food if you like.

From:

From:

*unlocks front door*

*whispers*

Hello?

Oh you're in - Peter. There's a - why is there a cat on the table

From:

From:

*lowers voice*

Hey, shush shush. 'm not that scary.

*presents hand for sniffing*

From:

Oh hello, George.

*Herds George towards the living room*

I think Question Time's on a few minutes. I'll bring a bottle through when it starts.

From:

*cranes over shoulder*

That's definitely a cat Peter. If it's some sort of early birthday present I can pretend I didn't see it. Though it's a chubby little thing isn't It?

And I'd rather not watch Ken Clarke bluster his way through another apology if it's all the same with you. I only came home because - well - we had unfinished business. And I didn't want to sleep in the office again.

From:

From:

J-

...

Grumpy. Come here Grumpy.

*scoops cat up*

Put the claws away. I do have the number for a 24 hr vetinary clinic.

From:

From:

He's a little portly, yes. I'm just minding him for the night, hopefully he'll be back home tomorrow.

Ah, yes, one moment. *gestures at armful of cat*

From:

*grasps Peter's waist*

I'm sure it won't mind waiting a second - for a hello

*leans over cat for kiss*

*slips hand around neck*

From:

From:

Ow! Bloody-! Fuck, it's completely shredded this tie.

From:

~~OwwwfffFUCKing claws!~~

*detaches chancellor and cat*

*checks Blackberry.*

*tosses cat onto sofa in living room and shuts the door*

You!

~~How dare you talk to my Machine like that?~~

~~Did you really think I wouldn't find out?~~

...

...I realise that you... ...and The Machine... ...have your differences...

*waves George into silence.*

...but I expected better. It is a child. A very large, very intelligent and somewhat capricious child.

...

Goodnight George.

*Vanishes*

From:

Peter, I -

For fuck's sake!

*storms towards door*

Get off! No, Jack, it's not walkies

*fumbles with keys*

Oh for God's sake mutt, I can't take any more reproach today. Stop looking at me like that.

*sighs and crouches to floor*

You feeling replaced too, huh?

*fondles dogs ears*

I'm sure he'll be back for you sooner than he will for me. Now stay.

*slips out of house*

From:

*Appears in living room*

Well...

...that appears to be all taken care of.

*slumps into armchair*

Are you commandeering the sofa bed tonight or are you 'porting off home?

From:

*Yawns*
*Uncurls*

Well since I'm still a cat it would be rather difficult for me t-

*catches sight of human hand*

...oh!

Well in that case I'll be-

*catches sight of Peter out of corner of eye*

Erm... I mean... it's late. 'Porting's probably not a good idea. I'll nap here... if you don't mind?

From:

No. That's fine. You know where the sheets and such are.

*rubs hands over face then through hair*

*shoves self upright and wanders towards doorway*

Good night, John.

From:

Yes, yes of course.

*hesitates* Peter-

Erm... sleep well.

From:

*pauses*

You're making the tea tomorrow, Grumpy.

*heads upstairs to sleep*

From:

From: