*Goes into kitchen to find a bigger glass* *Picks up a pint glass* *Considers it* *Decides against it* *Picks up a bigger wine glass and takes it through*
There.
Well, I suppose it'll all blow over as soon as your spell's fixed.
I am certain it will be as interesting, informative and impartial as all of his previous works. I have no doubt that all statements will have been thoroughly fact-checked prior to printing, nay, that references and sources galore will abound; from introduction to conclusion it will be a conscientiously cited text.
*Picks up what appears to be a copy of the Daily Mail from a side table and points to the main headlines*
"Violence against women in Tahir Square: Speak it aloud, let it ooze over your tongue: how bitter does it taste?" by Melanie Phillips
"Time to put an end to indefinite detention: Hundreds of men and women are today locked up, with no release date, waiting for a deportation that may never happen." by Richard Littlejohn
"More Tory disinformation on the economy: Now Iain Duncan Smith is at it." by Quentin Letts
I'm getting you a thermometer. Just last week you were complaining that you couldn't read exactly what The Independent was saying about you that was so scathing that they referenced it in Question Time without, and I quote, "having to pay the scoundrels hand over fist to read something that probably isn't true and would have been banned in a country with decently effective libel laws anyway!" You went on about it for hours.
*wanders off into kitchen* *returns with thermometer and a sheaf of papers*
I was going to recycle these, but you may as well have a look.
See, here's the FT with a special on the failings of neo-liberalism, the Telegraph, the Times and the News of the World. I think I might even have a copy of the Tribune from when you last visited...
*digs around in the sheaf*
Ah, there it is. Anyway.
*takes out thermometer*
Here. Stick it under your tongue and hold it there for 10 seconds.
Of course I'm normal! You're just trying to play some sort of trick on me and it's clearly failed. Really, Peter, you do need to come up with better pranks than this, I must say.
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branchandroot
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:07 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:12 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:17 pm (UTC)*Goes under the stairs*
Hmm... *points* eeney-meeney miney mo. This one it is!
*Wanders into kitchen to get glasses and corkscrew*
*Wanders back into living room*
*Opens and pours wine and hands a glass to Peter*
This will just have to do.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:31 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:34 pm (UTC)*Picks up a pint glass*
*Considers it*
*Decides against it*
*Picks up a bigger wine glass and takes it through*
There.
Well, I suppose it'll all blow over as soon as your spell's fixed.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:43 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 10:46 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:05 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:07 pm (UTC)Stop it, you'll make me spill my wine everywhere.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:15 pm (UTC)What are you talking about, John? Quentin Letts is a highly respected journalist, albeit, slightly too left-wing for most tastes.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:17 pm (UTC)Stop it. I don't know how you're keeping a straight face.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:37 pm (UTC)Are you alright?
*Picks up what appears to be a copy of the Daily Mail from a side table and points to the main headlines*
"Violence against women in Tahir Square: Speak it aloud, let it ooze over your tongue: how bitter does it taste?" by Melanie Phillips
"Time to put an end to indefinite detention: Hundreds of men and women are today locked up, with no release date, waiting for a deportation that may never happen." by Richard Littlejohn
"More Tory disinformation on the economy: Now Iain Duncan Smith is at it." by Quentin Letts
...would you like me to continue?
*passes paper over*
Here, read for yourself.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:47 pm (UTC)*Grabs paper*
What have you done to the paper, Peter?
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:55 pm (UTC)What? Nothing.
Are you sure you're feeling alright? You know the Daily Mail's always been a bit left wing. Same as The Telegraph and the Daily Express.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-08 11:58 pm (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:00 am (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:02 am (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:08 am (UTC)*gets up out of chair*
I'm getting you a thermometer. Just last week you were complaining that you couldn't read exactly what The Independent was saying about you that was so scathing that they referenced it in Question Time without, and I quote, "having to pay the scoundrels hand over fist to read something that probably isn't true and would have been banned in a country with decently effective libel laws anyway!" You went on about it for hours.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:12 am (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:27 am (UTC)*wanders off into kitchen*
*returns with thermometer and a sheaf of papers*
I was going to recycle these, but you may as well have a look.
See, here's the FT with a special on the failings of neo-liberalism, the Telegraph, the Times and the News of the World. I think I might even have a copy of the Tribune from when you last visited...
*digs around in the sheaf*
Ah, there it is. Anyway.
*takes out thermometer*
Here. Stick it under your tongue and hold it there for 10 seconds.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:29 am (UTC)Mrpphhlll!
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:40 am (UTC)*glances up*
*glances down*
Do you want me to... *muffled snigger* ...to call for a taxi? I really don't think you ought to be teleporting in your condition.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:41 am (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:43 am (UTC)*inspects*
Despite all signs to the contrary, you appear to be thoroughly normal.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:44 am (UTC)Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:49 am (UTC)John, there are a stack of papers knee deep which would suggest otherwise.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:51 am (UTC)Anyway, I should probably get back before Sally relegates me to the sofa for some reason. I'll talk to you later, undoubtedly.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:53 am (UTC)PossiblyI've warned her that you're likely to be even more irrational than usual.
Re: Regent's Park Home, Living room.
Date: 2011-03-09 12:54 am (UTC)*Leaves*