Public Appearances

[therealpm]

The necessity to avoid attending public appearances in person is beginning to grate, though it does provide ample validation of The Machine's projectile capabilities.

The other project progresses apace, or at the very least, generates copious piles of notes. Certain matters of sport have provided an amusing distraction.

Comments

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

They were but Sally took them kite flying when I caught what lyrics Oliver was singing. Thank you for that, by the way.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I am glad to have brought a little music to your otherwise drab and-

*ducks*

It's not that bad a tune! Stop overreacting! It's bad manners to assault an invalid.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

"Bad manners"?!

I specifically asked you not to even hum the damn thing and what do you do? You send my children the lyrics and sheet music that's what! Next time I don't want you to do something, do I have to include "and no influencing anyone else, including my children, in any way to do anything at all that is in even a slightly similar vein to the thing I have requested you do not do"?! Do I?

That was low and vindictive even by your standards!

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

...what did you expect?

Oh don't look like that.

...it is only a tune, John.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

That's not the point and you know it. I get enough of this kind of rubbish from the entirety of the Conservative Party, growing numbers of your backbenchers, most of the media, even theatre directors now... One thing, Peter, I asked you not to do just one tiny thing.

Are you clinically incapable of feeling empathy, perchance?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

My backbenchers?

*sips tea*

Send me a list; as specific as possible.

The others you'll have to deal with yourself.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Oh come on, Peter, if I had list I'd have told you by now.

I have to admit, dealing with theatre directors is a new one, though.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Theatre directors are inconsequential. It was a throwaway line that will be dropped for something more topical during the next run.

Labour backbenchers being insubordinate is a different and potentially far more serious matter.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I know that; heaven forbid I should try and make light of the situation...

It's still anonymous at the moment, and the more prominent backbenchers remain onside, but it's there. It all depends if they get the secret ballot reforms through as to how serious it could be. Anyway, even if I step down at the 2015 election, that's still 6 years in the Chair. I said I wouldn't do more than 9 at the start so that's not too bad overall.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

You threw a cushion at my head.

I suspect hanging on for any longer would be seen as rather clinging to power.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Probably, sadly.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Sudden career changes build character.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I bow to your superior knowledge in this discussion. I've only had one so far, due to ill health, many years ago.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

'ill health'

I am fairly certain most people would call it a high-speed broom crash, but I'm sure it's not a topic we need to discuss.

Have you had time to indulge in any research yourself, recently?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

As far as anyone without magic capabilities is concerned, my tennis career was ended by a sever bout of glandular fever, thank you.

Nothing major; some of us still have jobs for the m...

...

...T-The Mail has... it's... it's come out on my side o-of an argument with a Conservative backbencher.

...I'm, um, just going to, um, go home and change ties...

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Of course.

*smirk*
You're welcome.

Put the kettle on again before you go.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

You did that? Jesus, Peter, I... I... Thanks.

Tea. Yes, tea; tea would be a great idea. I could really do with a cup of tea. I'll just go make some...

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Remember to avoid the...

*listens to scream*

...cupboard on the far right.

...there's some salve in the first aid box. Drawer on the left. Probably some plasters too.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*returns with tea*

...Never let me into that kitchen again when I'm dazed. Please. For my own safety.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*receives cup of warm water with good grace*

I'll bear it in mind. How are you going to explain away the scratches on Monday?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I'll think of something. Possibly. If not, I'm sure whatever they come up with by themselves will be entertaining, at least for a while.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

You could simply imply that the Tory backbenchers have reached a new level of rowdiness.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I'll be sure to keep that one in mind, thank you.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I'm sure The Mirror would run with it.

More to the point, you should text Sally to let her know. I have no desire to be hunted down for inflicting injuries on her 'little munchkin'.

*snigger*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*Gets out phone* Good ide-

...

I'll thank you not to repeat that nickname, or to reveal how you discovered it in the first place.