(no subject)

[therealpm]

*Peter skims through Hansard. He's been far too busy plotting revenge attending to House of Lords business to watch the debates today, but with the statement on the equal marriage consultation and Treasury questions, it seems reasonable to invest a little time digging out the choicer quotes. Especially if he's expected to turn up to the Lords for those sort of things.

Most of the debate is pretty predictable, but towards the end Bercow takes a point of order. Most odd; there's still a statement to go.

As he reads through the exchange, the corners of his mouth begin to turn up, until by the end he's sporting a full blown smirk. It's not just that Osborne was made to sit there and be reprimanded for his disregard of parliamentary procedure, but that it's done in such a way as to make Bercow's dislike for the man painfully obvious. Peter is reminded of nothing so much as Jack's tendency to growl, and even nip, when he spots a long-lens camera. A sort of dogged, over-protective loyalty that's as endearing as it is amusing (he buries the pang of resentment he still feels every time he sees someone mocking his George. It's a tenacious habit but one he is determined to break). He gets out his phone.


Text from 07### ######

John,

interesting performance with Osborne yesterday. I'm touched.

-Peter

Comments

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

[thetwitterqueen.livejournal.com]

Oh, damn it, where's my camera?

John, with the amount of time you two spend fighting, don't you want some blackmail material? Hold still while I go find my camera.

Oh, wait, mobiles do pictures, what am I thinking? Silly silly Sally.

Now I know he'd kill me if I put this picture up on Twitter, but I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I get it framed just for the family room...

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John's end of the conversation is carried out in whispers so as not to wake the sleeping wizard.*

Sally -Sally, don't even think-

I don't need blackmail material!

Sally, there really isn't any-

*John winces as she takes a picture.*

That was completely unnecessary, I hope you realise.

*John scowls and tries to work out whether to wake the man up, leave him to sleep on the sofa or levitate him back through to his own home.*

[thetwitterqueen.livejournal.com]

I can help carry him if you want. Poor love doesn't weigh much. We can put him in the guest room.

Or I can fetch a blanket and he can sleep here.

*The children go scampering off in search of a blanket. Sally seizes the moment.*

No, I know, you do your magic thing and snap your fingers or whatever and fetch a blanket and pillows here that way!

*She lowers her voice to purr in John's ear.*

I like the magic thing, it turns me on.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*Up until that last comment, John had thought that he'd worked out a plan. The final words throw him somewhat. It's rather awkward sitting on a sofa with one of your close friends sleeping on your shoulder while your wife whispers such things into your ear.*

I-I-I...

Jack! Someone will have to sort Jack out if we don't wake Peter up.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter starts awake at the mention of Jack and blinks furiously, trying to shake the last of the sleepiness from his eyes. He looks at John with curiosity- the man's sitting oddly and blushing. What the devil's going on?*

[thetwitterqueen.livejournal.com]

*Sally slips her hand under John's shirt, on the side away from Peter so he can't see. Teasing John never gets old.*

Oh, hello, Peter! You dropped off. Do you want to sleep in the spare room? You must not be getting enough sleep - you look knackered!

*The children burst back in with blankets and enthusiastically drop them half on the sofa and half on top of Peter. Sally takes advantage of his distraction to lean in and nip at John's earlobe.

He does blush so prettily.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John just sits there blushing and trying not to emit any high pitched noises.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter rearranges the pile of blankets into a neat pile and edges away from John. He stifles a yawn.*

No, I'm...

*His words stick in his throat as John squeaks.*

...I'll just go home via the fireplace.

[thetwitterqueen.livejournal.com]

*Sally, with a last cheeky caress of the husbandly side, slips her hand out of John's shirt and stands up, all business.*

I'll say goodnight then, as these three need putting in bed themselves.

*A chorus of moans answers her.*

But you have a safe journey home, Peter, and come back soon. We're always happy to see you.

*In the doorway, she looks back and catches John's eye. She raises one elegant eyebrow - a gesture she's learned from Peter, of all people - and smirks at him.

She has Plans for later.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John discretely grabs some of the blankets and puts them over his lower half.*

Leaving-

*He coughs. His voice isn't usually that high.*

Leaving so soon Peter?

Well, goodbye. See you soon. Don't be a stranger, et cetera, et cetera.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Right. Well.

*Peter decides against shaking John's hand and instead walks over to the fireplace. He shoots John one final thoughtful look before stepping through the flames and returning to his own home.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John waits until Peter has left then rushes upstairs after his wife.*

*He returns to the room a few seconds later when he remembers that he needs to turn out the light. Then he makes his way back upstairs.*