therealpm: (fetch it your fucking self)
[personal profile] therealpm
*Bored, he paces the cell.  The inedible remnents of Fiona's gift basket are stacked carefully out of the way in the fireplace, above which is tacked a hand drawn card from John's children. His legs and back ache, signalling that he's going to be changing form soon. He should, he supposes, get under the blankets and wait there, but John had been significantly less amenable to letting him out for at least short breaks than Peter had hoped: he's been kept alone in this room for days now and the confinement is making him restless.

A muscle in his flank spasms. He grits his teeth as others follow suit- it's starting. Hobbling, he makes his way over to the bed and burrows under a blanket, biting the edge to avoid crying out in pain as his form shifts.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
I see.

Thank you.

*He sits down on the bed slightly more sharply than he expected and begins to read the papers.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*Unsure how exactly to react to Peter's actions, John falls back on a classic line of conversation.*

Tea?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 05:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Here should do for now.

*John summons the tea things and a plate of biscuits. He lets himself into Peter's cell and pours out two cups. Then he hands one to Peter and offers him the plate.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 05:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter grumbles that teleported food and drink never taste quite right, but sips his tea anyway*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John sips his own tea.*

We're expecting a visit from DEFRA any day now to check on your conditions. I've no idea what's taken them so long....

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Wonderful. Can I expect a spot of redecoration: new wallpaper, perhaps a better carpet, before they arrive?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John smiles and waves his hand. Beneath them, the original carpet sinks back into the stone of the cell and then in its place grows a new, thicker one. Colour starts to drip down the walls from the ceiling until all of the stone is covered (but any decorations and windows are left as before).*

*Both of them are House of Commons Green in colour, and the wallpaper is decorated with small golden portcullises.*

Better?

*John sips at his tea once more.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
You're amusing nobody but yourself and besides, the illusion is fraying near the ceiling.

*He points upwards- the original stone is bleeding through the deep green.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Spoil sport.

*John sighs.*

Oh very well.

*He waves his hand again and the decorations change colour to a deep red. He fixes the issues at the top.*

Is that more to your liking, m'lord?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter makes a great show of inspecting the room, before sipping his tea and replying*

Oh, I think it should do, Commoner.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
"Highest Commoner in the land", thank you so very much.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Yes, well... perhaps more than a little artistic licence went into that particular title, certainly when applied to you.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Need I remind you of the 1911 Parliament Act and what exactly it did to the respective powers of our two Houses, Peter?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
You mean your second most threadbare and worn out conversational topic after your attempts to explain the offside rule? I don't know, I think by this point I might perhaps be able to sing along. Should we try?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Well, if you would prefer a change, I could always go over the 1949 Parliament Act instead and just how much further that weakened your chamber against ours.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Do you still carry that revolver with the silver bullet, John? It might be kinder.

Or perhaps you could explain how your attempts to ensure that backbenchers can question Lords who happen to be Ministers are proceding? A fascinating topic about which we have heard very little over the past couple of years.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
...it is still being consulted upon.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
I see. And the Backbench Business Committee? Still going strong? Capable of holding the executive to account...?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
It is, indeed, still in place. Its wings have been clipped, so to speak, but we shall see how the issue progresses.
Edited Date: 2012-10-07 07:45 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 07:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter just smirks and sips his cup of tea.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 07:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John considers the merits and demerits of explaining to Peter just how many alterations he has made to the lower chamber to make it more accountable - the number of UQs, the reorganization of sitting times, the rationalization of weekly procedure, extended use of Standing Orders...*

*In the end, he decides that Peter probably already knows these things and is simply winding John up for fun. He moves onto a different topic instead.*

I suppose now that you're back in human form, we should arrange another excursion with Paddy soon.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Are you sure that is wise? There is undoubtedly a large pile of paperwork currently languishing in BIS, awaiting the news of my return.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Well, we'll certainly have to consult with Mr Cable on this matter, but I'm sure there will be time for an outing or two.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-07 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
...mmm, perhaps we could incorporate it into your training program? Aren't you meant to be doing a sponsored swim or something like that? I'm sure a little cross country run would be excellent cross training.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-07 08:26 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-07 08:42 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-07 08:48 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-07 09:34 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:02 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:12 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:14 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:22 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:24 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 07:28 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:22 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:31 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:50 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:55 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 08:57 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 09:13 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-10-08 09:24 am (UTC) - Expand
Page generated Jul. 27th, 2025 06:38 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios