therealpm

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Peter,

As much as I know you are invested in the reputation and conduct of the political party you grew up with and served for decades, I think it prudent to point out that you are no longer employed by them in a media strategy/relations capacity and that perhaps a cup of tea might do you the world of good in this stressful time.

-John

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wllmhague.livejournal.com

~~Unfortunately there is no popcorn in Brunei.~~

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John,

your input is as appreciated as always.

-Peter

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~~Unfortunately the range of The Machine does not extend much beyond UK territory.~~

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Peter,

Delighted to be of assistance.

-John

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John,

nagging me about my health like some sort of silver-haired mother hen without producing either a cup of tea or a solution to the intractable problem of Mr Bryant is so far from helpful as to almost be the dictionary definition of useless.

-Peter

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Peter,

As the completely impartial Speaker that I am, I cannot possibly help with the situation Mr Bryant finds himself in, as you well know. However, the kettle has just boiled.

-John

Edited Date: 2012-04-26 04:59 pm (UTC)

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John,

one cup of green tea, no milk or sugar, then.

-Peter

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Peter,

Consider it done.

-John

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*sips the cup of tea which has appeared on the desk before him*

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John,

consider your earlier impertinence forgiven.

-Peter

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Peter,

You're welcome.

-John

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Yes, yes, I know. I've already written to everyone to apologise.

But given that Rupert Murdoch listed the meetings in his public testimony, I think this all a big flap over nothing. They might not have published that particular document, but the information was already in the public domain!

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Sit down, Chris.

*pours two cups of tea*

Sugar? Milk?

*pushes a suitably adjusted cup of tea over and settles back into a chair with his own*

I have intervened with Lord Leveson on your behalf. As he has since stated today, no action will be taken this time, but he is minded to deal with further infractions more severely; as, indeed, am I. That said, I am prepared to let the matter drop, provided there is a distinct dearth of similar slip-ups on your part in the future.

*pauses to sip tea*

You mentioned being frustrated with the limited readership of The Independent. Have you made overtures to The Mirror? Its readership is unfortunately not as wide as The Sun or the Daily Mail, but it is likely to be distinctly more receptive to whatever information you feel bound to impart than either of the latter two.

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Oh, thank you.

*takes a sugar lump*

And thanks for having a word with Lord Leveson. It really was an accident- it never occurred to me they wouldn't publish the list of meetings to accompany Murdoch's testimony. But I'll make sure to double check from now on.

*sips his tea*

Somehow I think I've scuppered my chances of being syndicated by the Murdoch press. And if I started writing for the Mail, that might strain even John's copious patience past the breaking point. No, I like the Indy, and I think the tabloids would have less interest in historical anecdotes. It's a good exercise too- in 300 words, summarize the week's political events in a way that makes the Government look bad without seeming viciously partisan. It's just that there's a certain sense of preaching to the choir.

Although maybe that's not such a bad thing. The choir don't seem to be thrilled with us either, at the moment.

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I wouldn't take any bets on whether the Murdoch press will still exist, at least, in its current form once the inquiries have run their course.

*sips tea*

In a sense, the choir is not a problem- they will sing the party line whatever the leadership does. No, it would be good to find an alternative venue if you can, one that could be used to draw the swing voters as the cuts begin to bite and austerity suddenly starts to seem less attractive.

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I don't know that we'll get that lucky. Although Ofcom is taking another look at Sky.

*grins* The Telegraph? They seem pretty down on the Tories these days.

We need to be seen to have a plan, though. That's the main complaint I've been getting on the doorstep- people think we're just faffing around while the country burns. And that's our people saying it.

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Well, we'll see. No one predicted the fall of News of the World when these allegations first came to light.

On the necessity of coherent policy you are definitely preached to the choir. Nevertheless, it is Miliband's responsibility, we must await what he makes of it.

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Although now we hear that he'd been meaning to close it for years, so I'm not sure the hacking scandal can take all the credit- crass self-interest seems to have had a bigger role.

*sips more tea*

That's an usually passive position from you, Peter!

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Yes... but given that particular tidbit of information came from Murdoch senior I am disinclined to give it much weight.

I have always maintained that my loyalty is to the party and to whomever the party elects as leader.

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Oh, I believe him. It's the one thing he said I do believe. I can't imagine he closed the paper by way of apology to the Dowlers.

Of course. Mine too! ~~Barring certain incidents in 2006 that we'll lightly gloss over.~~ But you've never been shy about pointing out our failings when it comes to connecting with the public.

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I'm not so sure it was an apology as much as throwing the weakest on the Murdoch waggon to the wolves. A last ditch attempt at diversion.

*drains cup*

~~Good boy.~~

A topic we could, no doubt, discuss until first light. However, now is not the time; indeed it is considerably past the time that I should be asleep.

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