therealpm | (no subject)

Jubilate! - although I feel that a referendum would demonstrate more than just fringe group europhobia.

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Have a few more thoughts re: Bryant the swan. Mind if I pop over to discuss?

-John

*wipes grease from The Machine's innards off his hands and checks the phone.*

Hmph.

*throws down the rag and strides across to the fireplace*

I will be back shortly; in the mean time, try not to blow any more fuses.

*steps into the fireplace and disappears from the vault, reappearing in his house's living room*

*texts a reply whilst walking to his bedroom*

Text from 07### ######

John,

feel free to visit in fifteen minutes or so. Put the kettle on when you arrive.

-Peter

*tosses the phone onto the bed and selects clean clothes, then heads off to the bathroom for a quick shower to remove any remaining muck.*

*John steps out of the fireplace in Peter's living room a few moments later.*

Peter?

*John hears the shower going and makes his way to the kitchen. He makes a pot of tea but avoids adding his usual milk and sugar to his own cup. The tray set and the tea made, John goes through to the living room and makes himself comfortable in one of the chairs.*

*saunters out of the bathroom, hair still damp from the shower and tosses the old clothes into a laundry basket*

Good afternoon, John. No biscuits?

*collapses elegantly into another armchair and steeples fingers*

Do regale me with your thoughts on the topic of Mr Bryant.

*John refuses to look at Peter as he enters the room. Instead, he stares at his milk-less tea and begins his prepared speech.*

Well, Peter, I found this rather interesting book in your library the other day, but unfortunately a page had been ripped out of it. I tried to recall it but only a few scraps came back and nothing of much use. Luckily, after a few days searching and a odd favour or two called in, I managed to find the missing page and - would you believe this? - it was a diagnostic spell that was missing!

Once I'd worked out what it was, I practised the cast for a few days. Glossing over a slight incident involving Order and a fire alarm, I was able to perform it with a great deal of ease. Naturally when I tried it out on Bryant, I got the list of features of what had caused his sudden night-time changes. A potion was the culprit. Well, I said to myself, who do I know that's a dab hand with a cauldron? and, naturally, your name sprung to mind.

I did a little digging and found your list of articles on the Potions site - I would have come straight to you to ask for your advice, but I didn't want to bother you unduly, you'll understand. Near the top of the list - such a coincidence - was an interesting little article about the viability of "containing active potion ingredients within a stable matrix to incur a time delay in the delivery of reagents". I tried to read the whole thing but the prices of those sorts of journals are outrageous, so I read the abstract. Listed in the little outline were a number of ingredients the spell indicated were used in the potion on Bryant - not common ones, either. Interesting, don't you think?

Then I remembered that Chris had told me that he'd had tea with you just before he found out about this swan thing - and how you had taken the news of his latest misstep far better than he had dared to hope. He also happened to mention that both you and he had tea from the same pot - it couldn't possibly have been you that poisoned him, he told me. But Chris doesn't know about your research - he doesn't know that you're looking at the possibility of reducing potions to coated particles as small as a grain of sugar, does he, Peter? I've spent enough time with you to know how you take your tea; you could, theoretically of course, put the potion in the milk or the sugar and Chris would have fallen under its influence while leaving yourself entirely unharmed.

*John finally looks up from his tea. He is slightly distracted but quickly recovers himself.*

I can't prove a damn thing and you know it, but I'm sure what I have just explained to you would be more than enough to convince Mr Bryant, don't you think?

*sips tea*

Had you read the paper, you might have discovered that I considered the proposed method of inducing a time delay an interesting idea, but unverified and thus unsupportable as an avenue of further research compared to one or two other methods detailed in the article.

You might also consider that Potions, as the pre-eminent brewing journal, has a global circulation of nearly 10,000; any of whom would, upon reading the latest issue, have had sufficient information to attempt the potion you suppose me to have imposed upon Mr Bryant.

Peter... Just- just turn him back, will you?

*raises an eyebrow*

*scrawls a few runes on the table and sits back to wait as a small bottle shimmers into view*

*pushes it towards John*

You may inform Mr Bryant that after careful consideration of my own long range scans by The Machine, extensive time spent recreating the original draught, and the costly testing of antidotes, that I have come to the conclusion that three drops of this drunk with a cup of warm milk should relieve him of his nightly episodes of involuntary transfiguration.

*John takes the bottle*

Thank you, Peter. I appreciate how much energy you must have put in to finding a solution so quickly, given that The Machine must have taken quite a hit during the London Mayoral elections to make the final result so close.

*sips tea again*

Interpretation of the scans was perhaps the greatest challenge. Vastly more informative than your little diagnostic charm, of course, but requires a little careful deduction to benefit from the full range of data available.

*John drinks his tea*

In these matters I defer to you almost without question.

How is The Machine, by the way? Freddie's asked to visit soon, but Sally and I have agreed that depends on the outcome of his next school report.

The Machine currently requires considerable maintenance and will be running only essential processes for the next week or so. Should Freddie wish to spend large amounts of time scrubbing cooling fluid off the tiles and wiping down the walls, he is of course welcome to do so, but I doubt he would find the experience fascinating.

*John waves a hand dismissively*

His parents' evening isn't for a while yet so don't worry - he shan't be invading any time soon.

*John finished his drink*

I assume you wish to get back to whatever it is you were doing before I so rudely interrupted you this evening?

*eyes tea distastefully*

Not particularly. It was not an especially pleasant task, but I suppose it ought to be completed sooner rather than later.

Can I be of assistance or would my absence be my greatest addition to this situation?

A question you ought, perhaps, to ask yourself more frequently.

*taps chin with arm of glasses*

Ye-es. Meet in The Machine's vaults in quarter of an hour or so. Wear overalls.

Very well. Until then, Peter.

*John checks he has the bottle and steps into the fireplace*

*drains last of his tea*

'Well, at least the matrix based solution to timed release potions has been definitively proven to work. Once.'

*pinches bridge of nose*

'I wonder when it'll be possible to publish...'

*shakes head and wanders off to find some old jeans and a clapped out t-shirt*