therealpm | (no subject)

You're going to be abominably loquacious when no longer constrained by Speakerly impartiality. I may need to flee the country for a few weeks simply to avoid being forced to listen to your opinion on everything from airstrikes to zebra crossings.

Oh come now, you're far too disparaging! I do have some respect for propriety, after all - I promise not to take up all of the Upper Chamber's time, no matter how right I am on every matter debated!

Alternatively I could devise a 'mute' function, perhaps to be activated automatically, should you speak for longer than I deem acceptable.

If I spoke for longer than you deemed necessary, you'd simply walk out of the Chamber.

Muting you would be far more satisfying and merciful to my fellow peers.

Oh don't be ridiculous, Peter.

*raises an eyebrow*

*takes a hearty gulp of tea, then locates a new piece of paper and begins to scribble*

It wouldn't be particularly challenging...

Hmm...

*crosses something out and continues to scribble*

*Picks up a nearby rubber and throws it at Peter*
*It bounces off his forehead*

Stop it.

Ow!

What the-!

*picks up the rubber and throws it back*

Overgrown child.

*Throws it back*

Not at all - as you and many others frequently remind me, I am more than capable of hiding behind a group of secondary school pupils. I am hardly overgrown.

*looks up from paper in time for the rubber to hit his nose*

Gah!

*picks it up and throws it back, accompanied by a few sparks to singe John's hair*

Fine. Undergrown, irritating and attention seeking gnome, then.

*Laughs as rubber hits Peter on the nose*
*Picks up returned rubber and a few dis-guarded pencil sharpenings*
*Throws them at Peter's paper - the paper smokes slightly as the burning pencil sharpenings land*

Oh very original, Peter. You are getting better with your insults these days - must have taken you a while to think that one up. I know how you struggle with "off the cuff" so...

Edited 2012-02-23 18:01 (UTC)

*hastily brushes off the shavings and puts the paper safely out of harm's way*

*clicks fingers and a bee appears*

*sits back, crosses arms and looks immensely smug*

P-P-P-Peter, that's... that's not fair....

Make it go away!

Peter!

Peter!

*adds a second bee*

So... about expanding The Machine's range...

Not happening.

*Grabs pillows off sofa and hides under them*

You know John, I can translocate them.

...to your left ankle, for instance.

STOP IT!

*grabs wand and starts firing curses as he runs around the room*

*hides behind chair*

*waits until the volley of curses and cursing has stopped before poking head above the back of the chair*

John?

*ducks immediately to avoid an immobilising spell, aimed at his head*

...would you like some tea?

Get those things away from me!

*sigh*

*clicks fingers twice and the bees disappear*

There.

~~I think I won that one.~~

*Collapses into nearby chair*

Yes... yes, tea would be a... a marvellous idea...

*picks up both cups and heads off to the kitchen, patting John's shoulder on the way*

*hums as kettle boils*

*selects tea bags for each cup, then changes his mind and makes a pot of tea instead*

*wanders back through with the pot, cups and a small box of biscuits on a tray*

Th-thank you, Peter.

*sets the tray down and pours John a cup of tea*

Biscuit?