Thursday 4th October, lunch time. Prison cell.

[therealpm]

*Bored, he paces the cell.  The inedible remnents of Fiona's gift basket are stacked carefully out of the way in the fireplace, above which is tacked a hand drawn card from John's children. His legs and back ache, signalling that he's going to be changing form soon. He should, he supposes, get under the blankets and wait there, but John had been significantly less amenable to letting him out for at least short breaks than Peter had hoped: he's been kept alone in this room for days now and the confinement is making him restless.

A muscle in his flank spasms. He grits his teeth as others follow suit- it's starting. Hobbling, he makes his way over to the bed and burrows under a blanket, biting the edge to avoid crying out in pain as his form shifts.*

Comments

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Spoil sport.

*John sighs.*

Oh very well.

*He waves his hand again and the decorations change colour to a deep red. He fixes the issues at the top.*

Is that more to your liking, m'lord?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter makes a great show of inspecting the room, before sipping his tea and replying*

Oh, I think it should do, Commoner.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

"Highest Commoner in the land", thank you so very much.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Yes, well... perhaps more than a little artistic licence went into that particular title, certainly when applied to you.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Need I remind you of the 1911 Parliament Act and what exactly it did to the respective powers of our two Houses, Peter?

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

You mean your second most threadbare and worn out conversational topic after your attempts to explain the offside rule? I don't know, I think by this point I might perhaps be able to sing along. Should we try?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Well, if you would prefer a change, I could always go over the 1949 Parliament Act instead and just how much further that weakened your chamber against ours.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Do you still carry that revolver with the silver bullet, John? It might be kinder.

Or perhaps you could explain how your attempts to ensure that backbenchers can question Lords who happen to be Ministers are proceding? A fascinating topic about which we have heard very little over the past couple of years.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

...it is still being consulted upon.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

I see. And the Backbench Business Committee? Still going strong? Capable of holding the executive to account...?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

It is, indeed, still in place. Its wings have been clipped, so to speak, but we shall see how the issue progresses.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter just smirks and sips his cup of tea.*

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John considers the merits and demerits of explaining to Peter just how many alterations he has made to the lower chamber to make it more accountable - the number of UQs, the reorganization of sitting times, the rationalization of weekly procedure, extended use of Standing Orders...*

*In the end, he decides that Peter probably already knows these things and is simply winding John up for fun. He moves onto a different topic instead.*

I suppose now that you're back in human form, we should arrange another excursion with Paddy soon.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Are you sure that is wise? There is undoubtedly a large pile of paperwork currently languishing in BIS, awaiting the news of my return.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Well, we'll certainly have to consult with Mr Cable on this matter, but I'm sure there will be time for an outing or two.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

...mmm, perhaps we could incorporate it into your training program? Aren't you meant to be doing a sponsored swim or something like that? I'm sure a little cross country run would be excellent cross training.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. On the 13th of this month, to be exact. While, I of course am flattered and indeed honoured by your interest in this matter, I can confidently assure you that my regime is well on track to getting me prepared for my charity swim. Thank you, nevertheless, Peter.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Hubris comes before a fall, John.

*Peter sips his tea.*

Do try not to drown, the paperwork will be irritating.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

Good to know that your perceived concern for me is purely self-centered laziness. I would hate for your character to alter in any fundamental way.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

But of course, you didn't expect me to maintain any sort of investment in your well being beyond the purely practical, did you?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*That comment cuts a little too close to the bone for John's liking, but he quickly recovers*

I wouldn't expect anything else from The Prince of Darkness.

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

*Peter snorts. Some Prince of Darkness, locked in a cell and dependant upon the kindness of the Speaker's Office.*

'The Prince in the Tower', might perhaps be a more accurate name for now.

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

*John raises an eyebrow*

Oh don't be so melodramatic, Peter.

*He finishes the last of his tea.*

[therealpm.livejournal.com]

Must you spoil all my fun?

[bamfbercow.livejournal.com]

I'm not going to dignify that question with a response.

*John tidies up the tea things and gets ready to leave.

I do have quite a lot of work to be getting on with. Is there anything else you need at the moment?