therealpm | (no subject)

*adds a second bee*

So... about expanding The Machine's range...

Not happening.

*Grabs pillows off sofa and hides under them*

You know John, I can translocate them.

...to your left ankle, for instance.

STOP IT!

*grabs wand and starts firing curses as he runs around the room*

*hides behind chair*

*waits until the volley of curses and cursing has stopped before poking head above the back of the chair*

John?

*ducks immediately to avoid an immobilising spell, aimed at his head*

...would you like some tea?

Get those things away from me!

*sigh*

*clicks fingers twice and the bees disappear*

There.

~~I think I won that one.~~

*Collapses into nearby chair*

Yes... yes, tea would be a... a marvellous idea...

*picks up both cups and heads off to the kitchen, patting John's shoulder on the way*

*hums as kettle boils*

*selects tea bags for each cup, then changes his mind and makes a pot of tea instead*

*wanders back through with the pot, cups and a small box of biscuits on a tray*

Th-thank you, Peter.

*sets the tray down and pours John a cup of tea*

Biscuit?

P-P-P-please.

*Takes a large gulp of tea*
*Cough*

Thank you, Peter.

You're still not expanding The Machine's range.

Edited 2012-02-23 18:48 (UTC)

*passes the box across*

*resigns himself to not getting a single biscuit*

You are welcome.

*sits down and sips tea instead*

Wouldn't dream of it.

~~I wonder how much a satellite costs.~~

*Eats several biscuits in quick succession*
*Realises what he's doing*
*Hands the tin back to Peter*
*gulps at tea*

...do you want a refill?

*waits until John has nodded and passed over his cup before gently tossing the rubber in his direction*

*throws rubber back*

Just give me the tea, Peter.

*ducks out the way and sniggers*

*hands over a cup of tea*

I would remind you that this affair is entirely your fault.

*Takes tea*

Hardly.

It was entirely your idea to introduce the *shudders* bees.

It was your idea to start an altercation in the first place.

*tuts*

*glances at clock*

What time are your children expecting dinner and are you in a fit state to apparate?

More than adequate, thank you.

If you want to get rid of me, you can just say so, you know.

*finishes most of tea*

I would hate to face the wrath of a famished Freddie.

True... and it is Sally's turn to cook, so I suppose someone should be there to man the fire extinguisher.

*Drinks the rest of the tea rather quickly*

I shall leave you to it, then - unless you particularly wish to have oven chips, sweetcorn and sausages for dinner?

*looks torn*

Must I run the gauntlet of over-processed gunk every time I visit the children?

Unless you wish to cook or we order in take-away - yes.

*Gets out of chair and makes way towards fire*

If you're coming I shall see you in a moment, if not - don't do anything preposterous if you can help it.

*ponders for a brief moment, then stalk sover and grabs John's arm*

Come along, we're going to the supermarket. I highly doubt that your kitchen contains anything remotely approaching a fresh vegetable.