(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 07:47 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (huh?)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John was eating dinner with his family when the message arrived. Having the speakers on his laptop almost constantly turned to mute (one day he'd work out how to stop those annoying musical adverts), he wasn't aware of Peter's message arriving when it did. Only after dinner, when they were all seated in front of the television watching some animated film or another, did John got a chance to read the message.*

*He scrolled through his inbox - a few constituency emails forwarded to his private account by his office, a message from Osborne requesting further help in Commons negotiations and the message from Peter. John opened the message from Peter first.*

*John felt uneasy as he saw the hyperlink (Peter's fondness for pranks tended to put John on the back foot slightly when it came to Peter being friendly without being prompted). Still, he clicked the link anyway after only a short pause. It took him to a BBC news article that he'd seen earlier that day.*

*It took a good few seconds for John to make a connection between the story and Peter's message. When he did, all the colour drained from his face. His hands started to shake. Surely Peter didn't mean... this was a joke, wasn't it? It had to be a joke.*

*John quickly closed his laptop and made his way over to the fireplace. He told Sally he wouldn't be at Peter's too long and stepped through to the other man's house.*

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 08:15 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (huh?)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John calls out to Peter but when there's no response instead follows the music to Peter's office. John knocks on the door, opens it and pokes his head round the corner.*

Are you, perhaps, free for a quick chat, Peter?

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 08:57 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (Not impressed)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John, seemingly ignoring Peter's reply, walks into the study anyway and closes the door behind him.*

I just wanted to thank you for the humourous birthday email you sent me earlier. Much as I know I will regret it, I must admit I was taken in for just a moment by the ploy. A bit dark, perhaps, but then that's pretty much par for the course for you, as I well know by now.

*John laughs awkwardly.*

I just thought that, perhaps, if you were to attempt similar jokes again in the future, you would do best not to send such messages to my parliamentary email account. What, I ask myself, what would the parliamentary officials say if they saw this?

*There is a pause wherein John tries to look wise but only manages to appear frightened.*

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 09:20 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (Not impressed)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John momentarily snaps out of whatever frightened trance he was in.*

I'm sorry, I... I...

*John clears his throat.*

Just- just so I'm fully up to speed here; as far as you are aware, the timing of Lord McAlpine's... of his... passing - is entirely unrelated to what is significant about tomorrow, correct?

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 09:36 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (Not impressed)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
"A statement is not defamatory unless its publication has caused or is likely to cause serious harm to the reputation of the claimant.", Peter.

I have not made a statement, published the statement that I have not made, nor has the unpublished, unmade statement been or is likely to be taken with enough credibility to cause serious harm to the reputation of anyone who could be theoretically mentioned in the already established as non-existent statement.

I am merely asking you a question. If you do not wish to answer it, then perhaps you will be gracious enough to answer the following one instead:

Do you believe that the death or Lord McAlpine will legally be attributed to natural causes?

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 09:53 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (Sad)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John couldn't fail to notice the way Peter was dodging answering the questions. Nothing new for Peter (he'd practically built his career on not-exactly-answering-questions), but his reactions made John feel uneasy nonetheless.*

*A thousand questions were swimming around John's mind, but his self-preservation instinct (honed through his years in politics) kicked in: Do I really want to know? he asked himself. Even if I could get Peter to give me a clear and direct answer, would I really want to hear it?*

...No. No, you're right.

Well, I think that's all I came here to ask, isn't it? Yes. Yes I'm almost positive it is. Thank you for your time, Peter. I do apologise for interrupting... whatever is it you were doing. I- I'll just... see myself out.

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 09:58 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (Oh for goodness sake...)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*John stills in the hallway as he hears Peter call out to him. He swiftly doubles his pace once Peter has finished his comment.*

*Once back at home, John heads straight for the alcohol cupboard and takes out a bottle of whiskey.*

(no subject)

Date: 2014-01-18 10:25 pm (UTC)
bamfbercow: (BOOM! Magic)
From: [personal profile] bamfbercow
*With a glass in one hand and a bottle of alcohol in the other, John settles back down on the sofa next to Sally. She waits until he's finished half the glass to ask him how the conversation with Peter went.*

*He manages to placate her with generic non-answers, but he's never had Peter's skill at derailing conversations, particularly not where Sally's concerned. Eventually (after another few drinks and when the children are in bed) he tells Sally about the email. Convinced by now that it was just a joke, he tries to persuade Sally of the same.*

*Sally just laughs, saying that if it really was Peter, he deserves a crate of champagne after all McAlpine put them through. John laughs along and the conversation quickly moves on.*

*It's not until much later that evening, while on the way to bed, that John recalls Sally's words. He tells his wife he'll be along to bed in a moment then heads to the kitchen. He rummages around in the alcohol cupboard for the oldest, most expensive looking bottle of something he can find - if he can remember buying it, he puts it back.*

*He tried summoning a bottle from the parliamentary cellars instead. The fist summoning results in the expensive wine appearing, but no bottle, leaving the alcohol to spill all over the floor. John cleans up, the tries to summon another. This time, both the wine and the bottle appear - the wine outside the bottle rather than in it, once again resulting in wine all over the floor. Another clean up later and John is ready to try again. The third time he gets the bottle and the wine intact - no spills, no mishaps, just as everything should be.*

*Thinking that banishing the bottle to Peter's house might cause another spillage, John instead opts to use the fireplace and deliver the bottle himself. As quietly as he can, he slips through the fireplace into Peter's house. He leaves the bottle on the coffee table in the living room and heads back to his own house, ready for bed.*
Edited Date: 2014-01-18 10:26 pm (UTC)
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