therealpm: (smug)
[personal profile] therealpm
*Peter skims through Hansard. He's been far too busy plotting revenge attending to House of Lords business to watch the debates today, but with the statement on the equal marriage consultation and Treasury questions, it seems reasonable to invest a little time digging out the choicer quotes. Especially if he's expected to turn up to the Lords for those sort of things.

Most of the debate is pretty predictable, but towards the end Bercow takes a point of order. Most odd; there's still a statement to go.

As he reads through the exchange, the corners of his mouth begin to turn up, until by the end he's sporting a full blown smirk. It's not just that Osborne was made to sit there and be reprimanded for his disregard of parliamentary procedure, but that it's done in such a way as to make Bercow's dislike for the man painfully obvious. Peter is reminded of nothing so much as Jack's tendency to growl, and even nip, when he spots a long-lens camera. A sort of dogged, over-protective loyalty that's as endearing as it is amusing (he buries the pang of resentment he still feels every time he sees someone mocking his George. It's a tenacious habit but one he is determined to break). He gets out his phone.


Text from 07### ######

John,

interesting performance with Osborne yesterday. I'm touched.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John is busy working out the order paper for PMQs the next day when his phone buzzes. He checks the message and definitely does not blush while replying.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Your reading comprehension must be failing you. The incident with Osborne was about proper parliamentary conduct and thus was nothing to do with you whatsoever.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

John,

of course. I'm not sure which part of your decision to keep Osborne late, the subsequent decision to allow a point of order before a statement had been given, the very public, ten minute dressing down you gave Osborne or the way you snapped your pencil when I received a text from the aforementioned Chancellor on Saturday led me to believe that there was any ulterior motive behind your actions. I offer the most abject apology.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Apology accepted.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter taps his fingers on the desk and ponders how to wind John up further.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

I may be meeting with the man himself later. Is there any further advice you would like me to pass along?

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John can think of a great number of things he would like to say to the Chancellor, and a great number more that he would like Peter to say to the man, but listing them in a text would take far too long and he's not entirely sure Peter's that interested anyway. He just hopes that Peter is winding him up about going to see Osborne.*

*Not that John has any right to tell Peter what to do, of course. Still, John also knows from Peter's past experiences that he's very unlikely to be able to spot when personal relationships go sour and is far more forgiving than he should be on these issues.*

*Part of John wants to rush through the fireplace and tell Peter not to do it, that Osborne's a manipulative, arrogant, out of touch, selfish, conceited egotist who'll just end up hurting Peter again the next time the relationship is too inconvenient for him. The sad part is, John knows that Peter - ever the strategist - will probably have gone through all the different scenarios and that John will not be able to tell Peter anything the other man hasn't already contemplated.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Make sure he's back in time for PMQs.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

John,

I'll try, but I'm not sure we'll be finished by then.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John reads the text, then goes to the kitchen to open a new packet of biscuits. He's halfway through the packet before he is capable of thinking up a reply.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Thank you.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 10:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*It takes long enough for John to reply that Peter begins to worry that the man has taken punitive preventative action against the Chancellor. When the text comes through, it becomes clear that John has simply been worrying himself into a funk instead.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

put the biscuits away.

Are the children off school yet? I believe Oliver wanted some assistance with his runes and Jemima has bargained for another brewing session.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John's phone buzzes as he picks up another biscuit.*

...how the hell did...

*He eats the biscuit anyway as he replies.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Not yet. Term is late this year. They do finish on Friday, though.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter ponders whether to reactivate the biscuit hex, unsure as to whether Frances has set up any alerts that will bring down the Mace binding if he dares to hex anyone on the parliamentary estate. He decides to risk it and sets the spell running again.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John is most annoyed when his biscuits suddenly turn into rice cakes.*

*He marches through the fireplace to Peter's living room.*

Take that blasted hex off my confectionery!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter simply gives John a very large smile, as if thoroughly delighted to see him.*

Tea?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Will I be permitted to consume biscuits while on these premises?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Possibly. Under controlled circumstances and with a defined upper limit.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John falls down into a seat.*

Fine. Tea.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter looks up from his sheaf of papers*

Kettle's next to the sink, as always. There should be clean mugs on the tree.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
...

*John fetches the tea, grumbling to himself all the while.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Whilst John is in the kitchen, Peter's phone buzzes with a new text. It's Osborne. Peter calls through.*

Change of plan. I have another visitor in half an hour or so.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John wanders in with two mugs of tea.*

Well whoever it is I'll be sure to make a third cup when they arrive.

How many biscuits did you say I could have?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
I'm sure it will go far to soothe yesterday's rift between the two of you.

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
...oh.

Where are the biscuits?

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
In the tin.

*He gestures to a box on the coffee table. It is mercifully free of skulls and appears to have been bought from M&S.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John opens the tin. The biscuits look old and soft - or maybe, judging from the packaging at the bottom of the tin, that's just what "low calories, sugar free" biscuits look like. John makes a mental note to bring his own biscuits in future.*

*He takes a small one so as not to appear rude then nudges the tin over to Peter.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 01:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter disdains the biscuit tin in favour of tea and texting a reply to Osborne- his attention entirely focused on the small screen of his phone.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-12-12 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*Irritated at being ignored in favour of the Chancellor, John attempts to strike up a conversation.*

Freddie's flying is coming on well.

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