therealpm: (Confused)
[personal profile] therealpm
*Peter sips his very milky tea and does his best to ignore Miles, who is chattering away about a "very good physiotherapist, he lives in the next village.  I'll give him a ring and see if he can come round today."  Eventually, he points out that actually, he is perfectly capable of walking and doesn't need any assistance; a notion that Miles quickly shoots down by reminding him of his ill-fated attempts to get out of the car and walk up the garden path by himself yesterday.

His mood further deteriorates when Miles points out that being a werewolf would be an excellent hallowen costume.  There's a pang of loss at the thought of his other form, which he doesn't quite know how to deal with.  Instead, he gets out his phone, ignoring Miles' protestations about work at the breakfast table and texts John:*

Text from 07### ######

Bercow,

I haven't died.
Miles is somehow managing to be even more annoying than you.
wish the children a Happy Hallowe'en for me.

-Mandelson

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 08:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John, meanwhile, is busy arguing with his children.*

No, Oliver, it would be most un-parliamentary.

Freddie, stop it - I'm not going to wear-

*His phone goes off.*

Excuse me boys, I am sure this is a very important message which requires my immediate and full attention.

*John takes his phone out of his pocket, reads the message and replies.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

The boys are trying to get me to wear a vampire costume to work today.

I am sure they will appreciate the message.

-John

*John puts his phone away.*

Your Uncle Peter wants me to wish you a "Happy Hallowe'en" from him.

No, Freddie, he cannot come round for a Halloween party.

He's very busy at the moment.

Yes, I am sure you'll get to see him soon.

No I am still not going to wear the fangs!

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Miles' fuming at Peter's text messaging is a quiet, albeit childish, delight. He eats a few spoonfuls of porridge to mollify his older brother, then takes his phone out again and replies.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I'm sure you'll make Michael Howard's day.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Kindly stop-

Careful! You're getting fake blood on my tie!

Oh, look at it, now I'm going to have to-

What do you mean "no one will notice"?!

*John's phone buzzes again. He picks it up and scowls at the message.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

I am not going to work dressed as a vampire, irrespective of Michael Howard's feelings.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Miles leaves the room, ostensibly to phone the physiotherapist, but probably to avoid shouting at Peter in exasperation, which Peter counts as a victory. His phone buzzes again, so he sets down the pot of honey (plain porridge is dull and checks his messages.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

true, you'd be perfect for Igor.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*Tie changed and children placated - for now - John settles down to breakfast. He picks up his phone as it buzzes.*

Text from 078## ######

Peter,

I will not be going to work in any Halloween themed costume. It is irrelevant to me which you, or anyone else, thinks would suit me best.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter eats a couple more mouthfuls of porridge, then pushes the bowl away. He's not hungry and he feels a bit sick. Besides, his arm has started aching and shaking again, and being unable to walk more than a few steps is undignified enough- he doesn't want to spill porridge all over himself as well.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

I am disappointed, on both counts.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

I am sure you have much more pressing and interesting things to do today than worry about my attire.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*He scowls as Miles returns and pressures him to eat more.*

I'm not hungry.

"You have to eat something- you're malnourished and it's slowing down your body's ability to heal."

I'm not hungry. I just feel ill. And I have a headache. You don't have any neurofen, do you?

*Miles looks discontented, but wanders off to fetch some painkillers. Peter, meanwhile, checks his text messages.*


Text from 07### ######

John,

I make time for those in need.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

I thank you for your concern but I am not "in need" as you so eloquently put it. I am, in fact, rather busy.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 10:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter swallows down a couple of painkillers and waits for his headache to recede. Miles offers him an arm, and they walk slowly through to the living room, where several warm blankets have already been laid out next to an armchair with a view both of the garden and the TV. Apparently Miles has prevailed upon his physiotherapist friend to visit this afternoon. Peter makes a mental note to have a nap.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

doubtful, given you no longer have guard duty.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Now that you are once again well, I can return more fully to my job as a constituency MP, local campaigner and Speaker of the House of Commons.

I also have a very important tree to plant later.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Miles sets a pint glass of milk down in front of Peter with an instruction to drink it all. Instead, Peter picks up his phone.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

....a tree. Your life is one of unbridled excitement.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Indeed. Now, if you don't mind, I have PMQs to prepare for.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 12:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

John,

why, are you still unsure of the procedures involved? I can text you prompts if necessary.

-Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 12:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

No thank you, Peter.

-John

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*With John occupied by PMQs, Peter quickly gets bored. He demands access to a laptop and looks up other phone numbers.*

Text from 07### ######

Frances,

I won't be able to attend the majority of the current session. I am certain you are devastated by this news.

-Peter
Edited Date: 2012-10-31 01:13 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoneandtony.livejournal.com
*Tony's phone buzzes with a text from Peter; the first since the news of his unusual condition. He skims it, smiles at the good news, and manages to type out a reply with one hand while holding a croissant in the other.*

Text from 07## ######

Peter,

Congrats! Knew you'd pull yourself together in the end. Now get out there and become a productive member of society.

- Tony

(no subject)

Date: 2012-10-31 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Miles frowns when Peter's phone interrupts dinner, but any scathing comment is halted as Peter's face lights up when he sees the name. He dumps his spoon in the bowl of soup and hastily types a reply.*

Text from 07### ######

Tony,

Thank you for your support. Obviously want to get back into things as soon as possible.

Best,
-Peter
Edited Date: 2012-10-31 09:32 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 09:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoneandtony.livejournal.com
*Peter's reply arrives before Tony has even put his phone down. He raises his eyebrows in amusement.*

Text from 07## ######

Peter,

I'm sure everything's been in quite a state without your guidance. Good luck making up the lost ground.

- Tony

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 09:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Miles has wrestled Peter's phone away, with a reminder that he needs to eat. Peter's perfectly sensible objections that he is a) not hungry, b) feels sick and c) has a headache are ignored. His legs feel all jittery too. It's annoying. A kind of restless energy, even though he's exhausted from the relatively easy exercises the physio demanded he attempt earlier.

His phone buzzes on the table mat, next to Miles' plate, who sighs when he sees the name and pushes the phone across to Peter.*

Text from 07### ######

Tony,

I've dabbled, here and there. Always good to keep one's hand in. How are the children?

Best,
Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoneandtony.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

Peter,

Well, I wouldn't know about that. The kids are doing us proud as ever, although they're not really children any more! Kathryn was called to the bar recently and we're all doing fine. How is your

*Tony can't remember how to finish that question. Damn. He's normally so much better at people, but then again Peter's never been very open about this stuff.*

personal life? I hope the whole werewolf thing hasn't been too much of an issue.

- Tony

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

Tony,

please pass my congratulations on to her.

No, Miles has risen to the occasion, as ever when there's some sort of crisis.

Best,
Peter

*He carefully doesn't mention Osborne. That might lead to thinking about the whole sorry business.*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoneandtony.livejournal.com
*Miles? Tony remembers there being a Miles, but was that the boyfriend or the brother? Or the brother-in-law? Best to play it safe.*

Text from 07### ######

Peter,

Will do. Good old Miles! Say hi to him from me.

We must catch up properly at some point - it's been too long.

- Tony
Edited Date: 2012-11-01 10:12 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
Text from 07### ######

Tony,

of course. Do let me know when you next have a spare moment or two in London.

Best,
Peter

(no subject)

Date: 2012-11-01 10:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theoneandtony.livejournal.com
*Tony reads the text, picturing as he does so Peter's eagerness in typing it out. It's rather touching. Tony makes a mental note to contact him one of these days, then pockets his phone and brushes away the crumbs of his croissant.*

1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 09:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
Text from 078## ######

Peter,

Would you care to visit this evening to watch Question Time or are you otherwise occupied for the duration of the program?

-John

Re: 1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter stirs at the sound of the phone. He hadn't been napping, just... resting on the sofa when two dogs decided he needed to be cuddled at great length and he hadn't thought to move since. He gently shifts them out the way, pockets the phone and staggers his way to the kitchen.

His brother seems to keep very little in the way of potion supplies or bodily fluids. Awkward.*

Text from 07### ######

John,

expect me in ten minutes.

-Peter

*The only thing vaguely bloody is a packet of pork chops. Usually Peter would be able to use nearly any substance and have his magic make up the difference, but at the moment he needs all the assistance he can get.

He drags the packet out of the fridge, staggers back to the living room (trying not to alert Miles to his movements and nearly collapses in front of the fireplace. The dogs are far too interested in the chops- he tosses a toy down the hall. The noise will alert Miles but hopefully he'll be mostly finished by then.

Grabbing a chop, he daubs runes in bloody lard on the front of the mantlepiece and around the hearth. A quick scrabble for the matches on the mantlepiece later, and he has a small number of firelighters blazing in the grate. Miles has wandered through to the living room now- his xpression a mixture of disgust and horror.*

Keep the fire burning, Miles, I'm just popping round to see John. Oh, and don't touch the runes. Otherwise you might send half of me to Aberdeen and the other to Aberystwyth.

*He grins, and before Miles can get a word in edgewise, practically launches himself into the flames.*

Re: 1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*John receives the text and promptly goes to put the kettle on. He has two cups of tea and a plate of biscuits ready and waiting just as Peter comes through the fireplace.*

Good evening, Peter. How have you been?

Re: 1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*Peter staggers, but manages to catch the edge of the mantlepiece and keep himself upright.*

Oh, I've had worse.

*He gives John a pointed look. John looks away in embarrassment. Peter moves as fast as he can to the nearest chair whilst John's attention is elsewhere.*

Re: 1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 10:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bamfbercow.livejournal.com
*By the time John recovers, Peter is in his seat and comfortable. John places Peter's tea on the table next to him and offers the other man the biscuit plate.*

Should be an entertaining show tonight. Interesting at the very least.

Re: 1st November 9 pm

Date: 2012-11-01 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] therealpm.livejournal.com
*They chat for a little while, passing the time until Question Time begins. Peter's answers grow steadily shorter, his eyelids droop lower. Less than half an hour after stepping through the fireplace, his biscuit falls from his fingers and he is fast asleep.*
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